Hey now, Santa, I'm writing to you
Cuz there's a lotta cool shit I want
I know I've been naughty, but cut me some slack
Cuz there's a lotta cool shit I want
So here's my list-a
So check it out twice-a

I want a solid gold Harley
With machine guns on the front
I want a motley crue lunchbox
Filled of sticky buns
I want a see through jumpsuit that fits me tight
I want all of the Beatles copyrights
I wanna chop Florida off the map
I want Pamela Anderson's speedo top

So there ya go, Santa, that's my Christmas list
Thats all the cool shit I want
But wait a minute, Santa, there's some things I missed
There's still a lotta cool shit I want
So here's my list-a
So check it out twice-a

I want a time machine and a BB Gun
I want a statue of Moby on the surface of the sun
I want to party naked on a school bus full of nuns
I want a bumper pool table and a robot pelican
There ya go, Santa, I'm sure you'll agree
There's some really cool shit I want
I know I've been naughty, but I guarantee
I deserve every single one
So here's my list-a
So check it out twice-a
I know I've been naughty
But life ain't nice
P.S. I still-a
Need some more shit-a

I want a diamond hyena shooting fire from his butt
I want a cannibal chef to cook me sweet and sour buns
I want a magical sleigh thats pulled by flying skunks
I want all the cool shit I want