Yard Act
The Trapper’s Pelts
What a day to be alive!
The state of everything
I know you saw the sign (in the window)
The braying fist on hollow wood
Sticky fingers on sugar gla**
Are you really so? (desperate desperate desperate)
All that divides us is evil/ All that unites us is evil
No, all that really divides is the binary hive mind
And the restraint that it takes, not to stick ourselves
Into every abstract object on the gallery shelves

Then the trapper came around
He was trying to sell me pelts
It was midday on a Monday
So all the smart people were at work
Trap music blaring from his furry boombox
The trapper tripped, I laughed he flipped, said
SHUT YOUR F**KING TRAP
Or I’ll eradicate nature, right now forever
Or I’ll eradicate nature, right now forever
So I bought all his pelts (all his pelts!)
At a bulk buy discount

I took out a small business loan
And I bought all his pelts
I threw them in the boot of my car and drove downtown
I pitched up a stall, outside the office blocks
And come five o’clock, it was so cold
That everybody needed one, everybody wanted two
So I upped the price and I bled them dry cuz that’s what you do
And come six o’clock, I’d oversold
And my smile was made of solid gold
I collapsed under the weight of my own success (Yes)

And driving away with my many grapes, my many women
And my ginormous mountain of never ending blow
I saw the trapper disappear from my rear view mirror
With no pelts to call his own
Shivering, naked and all alone… In the snow

The senseless charm, the gnawing guilt (THE TRAPPER’S PELTS, THE TRAPPER’S PELTS!)
The senseless charm, the gnawing guilt (THE TRAPPER’S PELTS, THE TRAPPER’S PELTS!)
The senseless charm, the gnawing guilt (THE TRAPPER’S PELTS, THE TRAPPER’S PELTS!)
The senseless charm, the gnawing guilt (THE TRAPPER’S PELTS, THE TRAPPER’S PELTS!)