Going on a date
I really can't be late
Gotta get some flowers
After I get some food
(Do-do-do-do-do, eating at McDonald's)

God, I really needed that
But I'm already late, oh, crap!
Have to come up with an excuse
After I get more food
(Mmm, now I'm eating at Wendy's)

I'm fifteen minutes late
She's really gonna hate me
I better call her now
Oh look, a bakery!
(Mmm, yummy, yummy cupcakes)

This really isn't good
I need to get her a gift
Oh, perfect, I can get her one right there!
(At the Home Depot, trying to get some wood)

Thirty minutes late
My chances aren't great
[?] if she wants
After I fight in this battle
(Fighting, fighting, in a battle, blowing people's heads off)
I'm putting my foot down right now!
(Need to look at these puppies before I go on my date)

Forty minutes late
(Ooh, lemonade)

No more pit stops
I gotta make it, oh
(Back to fighting in the battle, Molotov cocktails for everyone)

Putting the key in
(After I get some rest)

Gotta step on the gas
(After I buy my Snuggie)

Total concentration
(Ice cream)

I'm almost there
(More cupcakes)

Now I'm at her house!

Ooh, Charlie Puth, you dumbass
You showed up three hours late
She couldn't wait anymore
[Phone rings, playing "I'm So Hot"]

"Hey Charlie, wanna hang out?"

Yeah sure, I'll pick you up right now

Charlie the dumbass slept through his alarm
Then stalked his friends on Facebook
And then went to an office party
He doesn't even work in an office