[Verse 1]
Last night I told you I loved ya
Woke up, blamed it on the vodka
I genuinely thought I was dying
And I could see that smile you were hiding

Last night I told you I need ya
That's the last time I drink tequila
Super Lemon and his sidekick Salt Kid
I start crying and verbally assaulting

Last night I asked you to marry me
That's when I remembered the brandy
I wake up and claim I didn't say it
Screwed if I ever wake up in Vegas

[Chorus]
Wish I could stop but I'm not joking
Drinking too much, I'm socially smoking
Wish I could stop, start to behave and then
Wake up in the morning and never miss a day again

[Verse 2]
Last night police had to frisk me
In the cells thanks to Bell's fine whisky
I think I said too much
Like "Do you like my bracelets? Oh wait, they're handcuffs"
Last night I said, "I want your babies"
Forget the ice, it's not nice to drink Baileys
I drink that much that I forget
Whatever embarrassing thing I say next
You said I got on one knee, and there's no way
Unless I'd been drinking, oh wait... Rosé
Sailor Jerry's Rum I think I drank too much
Showing randomers way too much love

Last night I called you a loser
I think that was after flaming sambuca
I shouted at you, "Do me a favour"
And that's when I fell off the pavement

[Chorus]
Wish I could stop but I'm not joking
Drinking too much, I'm socially smoking
Wish I could stop, start to behave and then
Wake up in the morning and never miss a day again

[Bridge]
‘Cause I'd love to learn when to shut my mouth
Wake up in the morning and be in my own house
Do one last shot and know when to stop
No more photos on Facebook of me doing the robot
Know when to leave and when to lock my front door
Stop waking up and cheesing in a bed full of people
Sitting in a cupboard with my weird best friend
But I'm only young, so I'm not going to pretend
[Chorus]
I wish I could stop ‘cause I'm not joking
I love drinking too much, I'm socially smoking
Don't want to stop or learn to behave, amen
And I hey just missed another day again