All women are crazy
All men are dumb
'Cause though we know they're crazy
We still want some
It's nothing new
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em
And we can't live with 'em
What's a man to do?

Back in the bible
There was a tree
Lord said to Adam
"Don't you eat that fruit"
He said, "Fine by me."
But then along came Eve
Looking to do wrong
And on account of her curves
And his lack of nerves
Adam went along

'Cause all women are crazy
All men are dumb
'Cause though we know they're crazy
We still want some
It's nothing new
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em
And we can't live with 'em
What's a man to do?
Take my old lady
I bought her a gown
We were fixing
To go out mixing
Out on the town
She said, "Do I look fat?"
I said, "Heck no!
Just a little round..."
And since that day
I've walked this way
It hurts to sit down

'Cause all women are crazy
All men are dumb
'Cause though we know they're crazy
We still want some
It's nothing new
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em
And we can't live with 'em
What's a man to do?

"---Fellas, there comes a time in every woman's life... About once a month, to be exact. When they get all ornery. Oh, they start kicking and fussing and fighting and... We don't know what's wrong with them. In about a week, they generally come around... And they'll look you right in the eye, too, and they'll say: "I'm sorry, honey, I was just PMSing." Now, ladies, I feel for you, I really do. It's not an easy thing to go through. But since we already know the outcome, I'd like to propose an experiment: Fellas, the next time your woman gets crazy. I'm gonna guess, about a month from now. I want you to look her right in the eye and I want you to ask her "Honey, are you sure you're not just PMSing?" And then grab you're gonna your balls and run for the hills!---"

When I met my lady
And asked for her hand
She was the calmest
And the sweetest girl in all the land
But then the ring went on
And she went all wrong
Like a midnight thriller
She went BrideZilla
Spat pea soup and become a killer
She ate three kids
And my auntie's wig
And the pastor's dog
Why?!
'Cause all women are crazy
All men are dumb
'Cause though we know they're crazy
We still want some
It's nothing new
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em
And we can't live with 'em
You just can't shoot 'em
Or you'll end in prison
And the biker from Hell
In your prison cell
Might take a shine to you