Gather weary travelers
I have a tale to tell
It might just save your lives but only if you listen well
'Cause there before the breakers
And just around the way
There's a sign that says
"Beware The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Some say he's a guppy a kid threw in the sea
He ate so many sailors, now he's bigger than a tree
His teeth are sharp as scissors
His claws, they are like knives
And if you think he's ugly, wait 'til you see his insides!

(Chorus)
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Some say he's a serpent that came straight from hell
To eat the souls of pirates and other ne'er-do-wells
Some they don't believe it, as for me I've got a hunch
'Cause they used to have some pirates here
But he ate them all for lunch!
(Chorus)
Well, Captain Hook, you've heard of him, he came to Pirate's Bay
It seems his little nemesis had nearly got away
He reached into the water to grab at Peter Pan
There was a crunch and a scream!
And now that scurvy captain's got hooks on both his hands!

(Chorus)
Well, Blackbeard the Pirate, you know for what he's feared
It's mostly for the dark, imposing color of his beard
He saw the beast and now nobody's scared of him because
His beard turned white and all agree
He looks like Santa Claus

(Chorus)
Well, now the tavern's empty and there's only you and me
And if you care I'd like to share how this song came to be
So come a little closer if you really want to know
This very sad and woeful tale happened so long ago

Well, I was just a little boy when I went to Pirate's Bay
And there I saw a creature that was very much dismayed
With a harpoon in his dorsal fin and a hook stuck in his side
This mighty whale was in such pain, we both began to cry

I pushed and I shoved, but he wouldn't give way
Into the deeper waters off our shallow Pirate's Bay
All I could do to help him was to keep people away
So I wrote a sign that said, "Beware The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
And what did it say?
Don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away
Heed the sign that says, "Beware."
Hell I should know, I put it there!
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Pirate's Bay!"