Scene 2: Judge's Chambers

(Enter Judge Newt)

Newt: [tapping fish bowl] Fuck my fish died again. Why does Lieutenant Shiny Sides die every day? Hey secretary bitch come in here

(Enter his secretary 123andtoteh4)

123andtoteh4: Yes sir?
Newt: Bitch go find me another goldfish
123andtoteh4: Yes sir, right away sir.
Newt: And give me my mail
123andtoteh4: Yes sir

(123andtoteh4 hands him the mail and exits.)

Newt: You can never find any good help these days
Newt: Hmm this letter looks interesting [opens and reads letter]
Dear Judge Newt,
It's going down today. Remember what I told you. If you place him in prison on 1,000,000 IQ bond I will transfer 20,000 IQ points your way. Don't forget or shit will get real.
Sincerely,
You better know who the fuck this is
FUCK I FORGOT!

(Enter Stephen Niday and Algernon)
Stephen: Hey Newt it's nice to see ya

(Cue 30 second handshake routine)

Newt: It's been a long time how are you guys doing?
Alg: I'll get to the point. Our friend Vill is having a hearing today and we need you to get him out of it. He's innocent and it's obvious.
Newt: I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that. It's a murder charge. We'll have to hold him on 100,000 IQ bail I'm afraid
Stephen: Yeah but how's your wife gonna feel when she finds out about you and 123andtoteh4

(Stephen shows him shall we say "interesting" photos)

Newt: Oh so you learned to play hardball huh Stephen. Alright I'll see what I can do. Now get the fuck out of my office

(Exit Stephen and Algernon)
Newt: Bitch get in here and put my robe on. And get Officer Platano to bring in that phaggot Villin.
**time lapse**

(Enter Judge Newt, Officer Platano, Court stenographer Krypt, and Villin into court room. Stephen Niday and Algernon sit in the back)

Judge Newt: Order in the court. We are here to listen to this phaggot Villin spew his garbage
Krypt: Ay slow down bitch. I can't type dat fast.
Vill: I can prove my innocence
Judge Newt: Shut the fuck up. You sound like a phaggot. You will be placed in a holding cell on 100,000 IQ bail and we will reconvene in a few days.

(Throws up middle finger to Stephen Niday)
Vill: What?
Judge Newt: OK let me speak your phaggot language. Officer Platano will take you to a place where you will have all of your wildest dreams come true. There you go.

(Officer Platano escorts Vill into holding cell)

Officer Platano: Now get in there and shut up. I don't wanna hear your bullshit. Lemson come welcome this phaggot. By the way I have something for you.

(Officer Platano hands Lemson cocaine out of fucking nowhere. Lemson gives Officer Platano money and Lem begins to talk to Vill)

Lemson: Ah this is the place. RG prison. You comfortable yet?
Vill: Uh no. I need to get out of here I'm innocent.
Lemson: So am I. I'm in here for posting tranny porn. You?
Vill: They accused me of murder
Lemson: LOL murder that's cute

(Mykro and Straightface come out of the back. Mykro wipes his face)

Mykro: Hey I'm Mykro what's up?
Vill: Uh.. what is this kid doing in here he looks like 12 years old
Straightface: Yeah I was just teaching him about God back there so he could change his ways. I'm very spiritual
Vill: Cool story bruh
Straightface: [under his breath] Phaggot

(Exit Straightface)

Lemson: So what's your name again?
Vill: Villin, but you can call me Vill
Lemson: OK Vill. Do you want to see what prison is all about?
Vill: No [yelling] I just want out of here
(Vill starts banging on the bars)

Lemson: Hey Mykro get over here bitch
Mykro: What's up Lem?
Lemson: Turn around
Mykro: This again. I thought we only did this on Thursdays

(Lemson Jams01's his... er, Sanduskies Mykro)

Lemson: You're next Vill
Mykro: It only hurts a little bit

(Officer Platano comes back)

Officer Platano: Villin, you made bail you lucky bastard. GTFO.
Villin: What who bailed me out? Stephen and Alg don't have that type of coin.

(Villin sees Northstars and a cloaked figure outside of the jail house. Exit Officer Platano)

Villin: Detective North? You bailed me out?
North: Nope definitely not me. This is your savior (points to cloaked figure)
Villin: Thank you sir, I'm not sure who you are but you saved me

(Cloaked figure takes cloak off and reveals himself (no homo))

Villin: Wait I know you... you're
Cloaked figure: Yes, I'm Maboo. Not so nice to finally meet you.
Villin: What? Maboo? But they're accusing me of killing you. Why are you doing this to me?
Maboo: Well the death part was very convenient. The truth is I'm tired of beefing with wack old people like Warren Buffett. I just want to kick back and live in paradise.
Villin: So what is it that you want from me?
Maboo: Well it's simple actually. I want to laze around paradise but still make money. So you see I'm in a bit of a pickle, no homo. I need you to go on a treasure hunt for me
Villin: Seriously? A treasure hunt? What's in it for me?
Maboo: Well see I'm looking for the legendary treasure of PriestHolmes. He died a year ago(RIP) and he left behind a massive treasure some place in South America. It's worth 5,000,000 IQ and I have the resources to fund you
Villin: 5,000,000?
Maboo: Yeah. I'll take my 4,000,000 and then you can split your 1,000,000 five ways.
Villin: 5 ways?
Maboo: Oh yeah I forgot to mention. You have to pay Northstars and then you have to pay the four people you can take with you on this journey.
Villin: 4 people?
Maboo: Why am I repeating myself? 4 PEOPLE!!! So choose wisely
Villin: OK I think I'm up to speed but I have to ask you one question. Why choose me? Nobody even knows me.
Maboo: That's the point. If you die nobody will care. And Pio kind of recommended you.
Villin: Pio? He hates me.

(Enter Pio)

Pio: I don't hate you I just think you're a worthless piece of cretin that doesn't deserve to work in my building anymore. I'm hoping you die. But I have to go with your sorry bitch ass.
Villin: Pio is coming with me?
Maboo: Yes I thought I said this earlier. You get to take 3 people and Pio with you so choose wisely. Are you hard of hearing or what?
Villin: OK so what's my first mission?
Maboo: OK once you assemble your team I will send you to find a map to the treasure of PriestHolmes. Only one man in the world has it.
Villin: Who's that?
Maboo: He lives in the fucking dungeons of rap. His name is... RedMasta
Pio: Oh great lets fucking start this fancy pansy shit little journey so I can just see you die already.

Exeunt