[Intro: Brendan Blaber]
My dear friends!
TV is all about escapism, yet you want to escape?
C'mon and stay a while as I share with you the who, what, when, where, why, and how of my genius plan!

[Verse 1: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock, Both]
Our scene opens on a Little Mr. Puzzles
Now cut to him having no friends
It was a struggle to find Anybody who could be my buddy
So instead, I watched TV all day to forget about my troubles!

[Verse 2: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock]
I was obsessed, I couldn't stop, I wouldn’t stop (No!)
Until I'd seen every moving picture that exists!
So he made a decision to get into television
I cut off my face and put a TV in its place! (ooh, ooh, ooh-wah!)

[Bridge: Brendan Blaber]
Patience is a virtue (ohhh-woahh)
Good things come to those who wait (ohhh-woahh)
Proverbs uttered by utter fools (ohhh-woahh)
I'll do anything it takes!

[Chorus: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock, Both]
(Are you ready for trouble?)
Got ya binge watching!
(You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles!)
You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (ooooh, wahhhh~)
You and your friends will look fantastic!
(The red carpet is rolled out!)
Come and get your tickets!
(Before they're all sold out!)
Don't wanna miss this moment
When those stars hit five
I get creative control of your real…
Life!
[Interlude: Brendan Blaber]
Ladies and gentlemen, excuse the interruption
The following message goes out to the stars of our show: The SMG4 Crew!
And we're rolling, let's go!

[Verse 3: Brendan Blaber]
You wanna know why I chose you?
You wanna know why I chose YOU?
'Cuz you're the stupidest show that I've ever seen!
And if I can make you entertaining, I can do anything!

[Chorus: Brendan Blaber, Elsie Lovelock, Both]
(Are you ready for trouble?)
Got ya binge watching!
(You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles!)
You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (ooooh, wahhhh~)
You and your friends will look fantastic!
(The red carpet is rolled out!)
Come and get your tickets!
(Before they're all sold out!)
Don't wanna miss this moment
When those stars hit five
I get creative control of your real
Grab a seat and seal the deal!
When those gorgeous stars hit five
I get creative control of your real life! (Life!)
[Outro: Brendan Blaber]
And scene!