Stephen Sondheim
Poor Baby
[SARAH]
Darling—

[HARRY]
Yes?

[SARAH]
Robert—

[HARRY]
What?

[SARAH]
I worry

[HARRY]
Why?

[SARAH]
He's all alone

[HARRY, spoken]
Hmm

[SARAH]
There's no one—
[HARRY]
Where?

[SARAH]
In his life

[HARRY]
Oh

[SARAH]
Robert ought to have a woman

Poor baby, all alone
Evening after evening by the telephone—
We're the only tenderness he's ever known
Poor baby

[JENNY]
David—

[DAVID]
Yes?

[JENNY]
Robert—
[DAVID]
What?

[JENNY]
I worry

[DAVID]
Why?

[JENNY]
It's such a waste

[DAVID, spoken]
Hmm

[JENNY]
There's no one—

[DAVID]
Where?

[JENNY]
In his life

[DAVID]
Oh
[JENNY]
Robert ought to have a woman

Poor baby, sitting there
Staring at the walls and playing solitaire
Making conversation with the empty air—
Poor baby

[Later, as ROBERT takes APRIL to bed]

[SARAH]
Robert...

[JENNY]
Bobby...

[SARAH]
Robert, angel...

[JENNY]
Bobby, honey...

[SARAH]
You know no one
Wants you to be happy
More than I do
No one
But isn't she a little bit, well

[SARAH, JENNY]
You know...? You know
Face it No one
Why her? Wants you to be happy more than I do
Better No one
No one But

[SARAH & JENNY, SUSAN]
Isn't she a little bit, well
You know You know
Face it— No one

[SARAH, SUSAN, JENNY, AMY & JOANNE]
Why these Wants you to be happy Why her?
Meaningless I do Better You know
Relationships No one No one No one

[SARAH, SUSAN & JENNY, AMY & JOANNE]
They can't make you But isn't she a Wants you to be
Happy Little bit, well Happy more than
But you know You know I do

[SARAH, JENNY, AMY & JOANNE, SUSAN]
Better Better No one. But Face it

[WIVES]
Isn't she a little bit, well—

[SARAH]
Dumb?

[AMY]
Tacky?

[SUSAN]
Vulgar?

[JENNY]
Old?

[JOANNE]
Tall?

[SUSAN]
Aggressive?

[AMY]
Neurotic?

[SARAH]
Where is she from?

[JENNY]
And cheap?

[SUSAN]
Peculiar?

[JOANNE]
She's tall enough to be your mother

[AMY]
She seems so dead

[JENNY]
And gross and

[SARAH]
She's very weird

[SUSAN]
Depressing and

[AMY]
And immature?

[JOANNE]
Goliath...

[WIVES]
Poor baby
All alone
Throw a lonely dog a bone
It's still a bone
We're the only tenderness
He's ever known
Poor baby...