Stephen Sondheim
Liaisons
[MADAME ARMFELDT]
At the villa of the Baron De Signac
Where I spent a somewhat infamous year
At the villa of the Baron De Signac
I had ladies in attendance
Fire-opal pendants

Liaisons! What's happened to them
Liaisons today?
Disgraceful! What's become of them?
Some of them
Hardly pay their shoddy way

What once was a rare Champagne
Is now just an amiable hock
What once was a villa, at least
Is "digs"
What once was a gown with train
Is now just a simple little frock
What once was a sumptuous feast
Is figs
No, not even figs—
Raisins
Ah, liaisons!

Now, where was I? Where was I? Oh, yes
At the palace of the Duke of Ferrara
Who was prematurely deaf but a dear
At the palace of the Duke of Ferrara
I acquired some position
Plus a tiny Titian

Liaisons! What's happened to them
Liaisons today?
To see them—indiscriminate
Women, it
Pains me more than I can say
The lack of taste that they display

Where is style?
Where is skill?
Where is forethought?
Where's discretion of the heart
Where's passion in the art
Where's craft?
With a smile
And a will
But with more thought
I acquired a château
Extravagantly o-
Verstaffed
Too many people muddle sex
With mere desire
And when emotion intervenes
The nets descend
It should on no account perplex
Or worse, inspire
It's but a pleasurable means
To a measurable end
Why does no one comprehend?
Let us hope this lunacy is just a trend

Where was I? Where was I? Oh, yes

In the castle of the King of the Belgians
We would visit through a false chiffonier
In the castle of the King of the Belgians
Who, when things got rather touchy
Deeded me a duchy

Liaisons! What's happened to them?
Liaisons today
Untidy—take my daughter, I
Taught her, I
Tried my best to point the way
I even named her Desiree
In a world where the kings are employers
Where the amateur prevails
And delicacy fails
To pay
In a world where the princes are lawyers
What can anyone expect
Except to recollect
Liai—

[She falls asleep]