Stephen Sondheim
Ladies in Their Sensitivities
[JUDGE, spoken]
Walk home with me, for I have news for you
In order to shield her from the evils of this world
I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday
[BEADLE, spoken]
Ah, sir happy news
[JUDGE, spoken]
Strange, when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance
[BEADLE, sung]
Excuse me my lord
May I request my lord
Permission my lord to speak?
Forgive me if I suggest my lord
You’re looking less than your best my lord
There’s powder upon your vest my lord
And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies my lord
Are weak
[JUDGE, spoken]
Stubble you say?
Perhaps at times I am over hasty with my morning ablutions
[BEADLE, sung]
Fret not though my lord
I know a place my lord
A barber my lord of skill
Thus armed with a shaven face my lord
Some eau de cologne to grace my lord
And musk to enhance the chase my lord
You’ll dazzle the girl until
[JUDGE, spoken]
Until?
[BEADLE, sung]
She bows to your every will
[JUDGE, spoken]
Perhaps you may be right, take me to him