Stephen Sondheim
It’s Hot Up Here
[DOT]
It's hot up here

[YVONNE]
It's hot and it's monotonous

[LOUISE]
I want my glasses

[FRANZ]
This is not my good profile

[NURSE, spoken]
Nobody can even see my profile. 

[CELESTE #1]
I hate this dress

[CELESTE #2]
The soldiers have forgotten us

[FRIEDA]
The boatman schvitzes

[JULES, spoken]
I am completely out of proportion. 
[SOLDIER]
These helmets weigh a lot on us

[OLD LADY]
This tree is blocking my view

[LOUISE]
I can't see anything

[BOATMAN]
Why are they complaining?
It could have been raining

[DOT]
I hate these people

[ALL]
It's hot up here
A lot up here
It's hot up here
Forever

A lot of fun
It's not up here
It's hot up here
No matter what
There's not a breath
Of air up here
And they're up here
Forever

It's not my fault
I got up here
I'll rot up here
I am so hot up here

[YVONNE, spoken]
Darling, don't clutch Mother's hand quite so tightly. 
Thank you. 

[CELESTE #1]
It's hot up here

[FRIEDA]
At least you have a parasol

[SOLDIER, NURSE, YVONNE & LOUISE]
Well, look who's talking
Sitting in the shade

[JULES, spoken]
I trust my cigar is not bothering you.—unfortunately, it never goes out. 
[SOLDIER, (to COMPANION)]
It's good to be together again

[CELESTE #2]
See, I told you they were odd

[CELESTE #1]
Don't slouch

[LOUISE]
He took my glasses!

[YVONNE]
You've been eating something sticky

[NURSE]
I put on rouge today, too...

[FRIEDA]
Don't you ever take a bath?

[OLD LADY]
Nurse! Hand me my fan

[NURSE]
I can't

[FRANZ]
At least the brat is with her mother

[LOUISE]
I heard that!

[JULES (to DOT)]
Do you like tall grass?

[FRIEDA]
Hah!

[YVONNE]
Jules!

[BOATMAN]
Bunch of animals...

[DOT]
I hate these people

[ALL]
It's hot up here
And strange up here
No change up here
Forever

How still it is
How odd it is
And God, it is
So hot!

[SOLDIER, spoken]
I like the one in the light hat. 

[DOT]
Hello, George
I do not wish to be remembered
Like this, George
With them, George
My hem, George
Three inches off the ground
And then this monkey
And these people, George—!

They'll argue till they fade
And whisper things and grunt
But thank you for the shade
And putting me in front
Yes, thank you, George, for that—
And for the hat...

[CELESTE #1]
It's hot up here

[YVONNE]
It's hot and it's monotonous

[LOUISE]
I want my glasses!

[FRANZ]
This is not my good profile

[CELESTE #1]
I hate this dress

[DOT]
It's hot up here

[CELESTE #2]
The soldiers have forgotten us

[FRIEDA]
Don't you ever take a bath?

[YVONNE]
It's hot and it's monotonous

[LOUISE]
He took my glasses, I want my glasses!

[BOATMAN]
Animals...

[SOLDIER]
It's good to be together again

[JULES]
Are you sure you don't like tall grass?

[OLD LADY]
Nurse! Hand me my fan

[FRANZ]
This is not my good profile

[ALL]
And furthermore
Finding you're
Fading
Is very degrading
And God I am so hot!

Well, there are worse things than sweating
By a river on a Sunday
There are worse things than sweating by a river—

[BOATMAN]
When you're sweating in a picture
That was painted by a genius—

[FRANZ]
And you know that you're immortal—

[FRIEDA]
And you'll always be remembered—

[NURSE]
Even if they never see you—

[OLD LADY]
And you're listening to drivel—

[SOLDIER]
And you're part of your companion—

[LOUISE]
And your glasses have been stolen—

[YVONNE]
And you're bored beyond endurance—

[LOUIS]
And the baby has no diapers—

[CELESTE #1 (to CELESTE #2)]
And you're slouching—!

[CELESTE #2]
I am not—!

[JULES]
And you are out of all proportion—

[DOT]
And I hate these people!

[ALL]
You never get
A breeze up here
And she's (he's) up here
Forever

You cannot run
Amuck up here
You're stuck up here
In this gavotte

Perspectives don't
Make sense up here
It's tense up here
Forever

The outward show
Of bliss up here
Is disappear-
Ing dot by dot

And it's hot!