[TODD, spoken]
And what may I do for you, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage?

[JUDGE TURPIN]
You see sir a man infatuate with love
Her ardent and eager slave
So fetch the pomade and pumice stone
And lend me a more seductive tone
A sprinkling, perhaps, of French cologne
But first, sir, I think—a shave

[TODD]
The closest I ever gave

[TODD whistles cheerfully.]

[JUDGE TURPIN, spoken]
You're in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd. 

[TODD]
'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire
From one man to the next

[JUDGE TURPIN]
'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire
The blood to pound, the heart leap higher
What more
[BOTH]
What more, what more an man require—

[JUDGE TURPIN]
Than love, sir?

[TODD]
More than love, sir

[JUDGE TURPIN]
What, sir?

[TODD]
Women

[JUDGE TURPIN]
Ah yes, women

[TODD]
Pretty women

[TODD lathers the JUDGE's face, then turns to his razor.]

Now then, my friend
Now to your purpose
Patience, enjoy it
Revenge can't be taken in haste
[JUDGE TURPIN]
Make haste, and if we wed
You'll be commended, sir

[TODD]
My lord
And who may it be said
Is your intended, sir?

[JUDGE TURPIN]
My ward
(spoken)
And pretty as a rosebud

[TODD, spoken]
Pretty as her mother?

[JUDGE TURPIN, spoken]
What? What was that?

[TODD, spoken]
Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing, nothing. May we proceed?

(sung)
Pretty women...
Fascinating...
Sipping coffee
Dancing...
Pretty women
Are a wonder
Pretty women
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them
Cheers the air

Pretty women

[JUDGE TURPIN]
Silhouetted

[TODD]
Stay within you...

[JUDGE TURPIN]
Glancing...

[TODD]
Stay forever

[JUDGE TURPIN]
Breathing lightly...

[TODD]
Pretty women...

[BOTH]
Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair

[JUDGE TURPIN, TODD]
Then they leave...
Even when they leave you Even when they leave
And vanish, they somehow They still
Can still remain Are
There with you There
There with you They're there

[BOTH]
Ah
Pretty women

[TODD]
At their mirrors...

[JUDGE TURPIN]
In their gardens...

[TODD]
Letter-writing

[JUDGE TURPIN]
Flower-picking

[TODD]
Weather-watching...

[BOTH]
How they make a man sing—
Proof of heaven
As you're living—
Pretty women, sir!

[JUDGE, TODD]
Pretty women, yes! Pretty women, here's to
Pretty women, sir! Pretty women
Pretty women! All the
Pretty women, sir! Pretty women...
Pretty women...

[ANTHONY]
She says she'll marry me Sunday
Everything's set, we leave tonight

[JUDGE TURPIN]
You!

[ANTHONY, spoken]
Judge Turpin!

[JUDGE TURPIN, spoken]
There is indeed a higher power to warn me thus in time! Johanna, elope with you? I'll lock her up in some obscure retreat, where neither you nor any other vile corrupting youth shall ever lay eyes on her again!

[ANTHONY, spoken]
But, sir, I beg of you!

[JUDGE TURPIN, spoken]
And as for you, barber! It is all too clear what company you keep. Service them well and hold their custom for you'll have none of mine!

[ANTHONY, spoken]
Mr. Todd!

[TODD, spoken]
Out!