[Chorus]
Walk walk trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
Lumber lumber plod plod
Shuffle shuffle talk

[XANTHIAS]
So tell me more about this writer -- uh --

[DIONYSOS]
Shaw. Bernard Shaw. Hated the name George. Born in Dublin in 1856. Dramatist, literary and music critic, socialist spokesman, showman, controversialist and a leading figure in the 20th century theatre

[XANTHIAS]
Wait a minute, is this the guy who wrote "My Fair Lady"?

[DIONYSOS]
Well, it was based on a play of his, "Pygmalion." A Greek myth

[XANTHIAS]
Then he can't be all bad

[DIONYSOS]
That's the spirit!
[Chorus]
March march trudge plod
Tramp slog stumble stumble
Trek trek trudge plod
Tramp slog grumble grumble
Walk walk trudge plod
Tramp slog stretch...

[DIONYSOS]
I love to travel
Don't you?
I love a change of pace
I love a change of space
I love to see a place
That's absolutely new

[Chorus]
Sweat

[DIONYSOS]
I love to travel

[Chorus]
Bump

[DIONYSOS]
Don't you?
[Chorus]
Limp

[DIONYSOS]
Of course you do

[Chorus]
Pant pant puff puff
Drip drip dawdle dawdle

[DIONYSOS]
I love to travel
It's true
I love a change of venue
A change of menu
The feeling when you
Meet with something strange

[Chorus]
Slog

[DIONYSOS]
I love to travel

[Chorus]
Slog
[DIONYSOS]
I love a challenge

[Chorus]
Slog

[DIONYSOS]
I love change

[Chorus]
Puff puff drip drip
Slip trip
Kvetch...

[XANTHIAS]
Are we there yet? Because my feet have definitely lost interest

[DIONYSOS]
Stop complaining. Such is life. Each of us must play his own part: You, Xanthias, a slave. I, Dionysos, a god

[XANTHIAS]
Half a god. Your mother was mortal

[DIONYSOS]
It still counts!

[XANTHIAS]
If you're a god, why do you cringe when you hear thunder?

[DIONYSOS]
That's my father Zeus, chief of the Olympian gods, the most powerful and important job there is, and well, he and I... we have issues

[XANTHIAS]
You also cry when you go to the theater!

[DIONYSOS]
Have you been to the theater lately?

[Chorus]
Mud dirt thorns vines
Sand rock gravel gravel...

[XANTHIAS]
I hate to travel
I hate to even leave the house
I hate the change of air
I hate the getting there
I hate to pack and all of that
I hate to change my habitat
I hate to not know where I'm going
Then to not know where I'm at
I hate the --

[DIONYSOS]
You've gotta learn to see the bigger picture!

[Chorus]
Swamp slush rain fog
Gnats wasps snakes mosquitoes
Swamp slush rain fog
Gnats wasps snakes mosquitoes

[XANTHIAS]
Who needs to travel?
I say to leave the world alone
It may unravel
But it's the mess we've always known
All right, okay, it isn't perfect
Still it's perfectly okay
And if it's gonna go to hell
Then let it
Why should I as well?
Forget it
First I had the grippe
Then trouble with my hip
Now I have blisters on my lip
This trip is giving me the pip --

[DIONYSOS]
You can stop rhyming right there. Move!

[Chorus]
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel

[DIONYSOS]
I love to travel --

[XANTHIAS]
I hate to travel --

[DIONYSOS]
You, too

[XANTHIAS]
I do?

[DIONYSOS]
Don't you just love surprise?
You've gotta love surprise
You've gotta love it or
I'll leave you to be nibbled by the flies

[XANTHIAS]
I love to travel!

[DIONYSOS]
What joy!

XANTHIAS:
Oh, boy!

[DIONYSOS]
If it's exotic
It's erotic
And that's all I have to say
I love to travel!
Don't you?

[XANTHIAS]
I do!

[XANTHIAS/DIONYSOS]
Okay!

[COMPANY]
I love to travel
It's true
I love a change of venue
A change of menu
The feeling when you
Meet with something strange
I love to travel
I love a challenge
I love change
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
Marsh marsh sludge sludge
Bog bog gravel gravel
Mire mire muck muck
Travel travel march march
Trudge trudge slog
Okay!