[DIONYSOS]
Pluto! Uncle on my father's side. I am Dionysos

[PLUTO]
Get out of town. Really?

[DIONYSOS]
Yes

[PLUTO]
Well, well, well!

[DIONYSOS]
I must say, Heracles painted a rather intimidating picture of Hades

[PLUTO]
Well, he's not exactly the brightest flame in the candelabra, is he? I assure you, the only thing you're in danger of here is never wanting to leave

Everybody dumps on Hades
People yelling, "Go to hell!"
Well, let me tell you, life in Hades
Is just swell

[Five FLAME GIRLS appear]

It's got flash! It's got flair!
It's got spectacle to spare!
People come from everywhere
Like it or not
[GIRLS]
Mostly not

[PLUTO]
Then they see what we've got

[GIRLS]
What we've got

[PLUTO]
And they like it a lot

[GIRLS]
Such a lot

[PLUTO]
Hell is hot

[GIRLS]
It's hot, so hot

[PLUTO]
I mean, you never gain weight
You're never out-of-date
You never get balder, older
You never have to fret about fate
It's all too late
I mean, you're dead
[GIRLS]
Yes, you're dead...

[PLUTO]
You're not afraid of time rushing by
Not afraid of oceans running dry
All because you're not afraid to die
Once you're dead

[GIRLS]
[Humming the fanfare]
De de de de
De de de -- you're dead

[PLUTO]
And you get to live in Hades
Where it's always 2 a.m.,
Where it's party till you drop
And never stop
Because there's nothing we condemn
Where whatever you regret
You just forget
Or better yet
Forgive
Where you're not afraid to die
And when you're not afraid to die
Then you're not afraid to live
And you're living here in Hades
[GIRLS]
Oh ah...

[PLUTO]
And I mean you're living well

[GIRLS]
Living well

[PLUTO]
Everybody comes to Hades
Everybody goes to hell

[GIRLS #1, #2, #3]
Up there, lots of sun

[GIRLS #4, #5]
Down here, fire and gloom

[PLUTO]
Up there, not a lot of fun
Down here va-va-voom!

[GIRLS]
Up there, gotta get a grip

[PLUTO]
Down here, one long acid trip
R.I.P. down here means, "Let 'er rip!"

[GIRLS]
Hell is hot
Hell is happening

[PLUTO]
Hell is cool!

[GIRLS]
Ah ah hell is cool!

[PLUTO]
Up there, that's just life
Down here, this is living
An endless party that no one's giving
But everybody's invited
Once you settle down in Hades
You can leave the world behind
Here where everyone is gay
No, not that way
No, I mean gay
Oh, never mind

Everyone's afraid of Hades
So they never misbehave
If they got a glimpse of Hades
They'd be racing to the grave

In the grand scheme of things, life is a test really. A little pop quiz. Nothing more. Some pass, some fail. But it's ultimately meaningless. Just something to amuse the gods. This is where reality begins

Here no one has a need any more
To commit a murder, wage a war
Who're you going to murder, and what for?
They're all like dead

[ALL]
Deceased
Kaput, defunct, released...

[PLUTO]
And we're flying high in Hades
Where it's always 2 a.m.,
Where it's party till you drop
And never stop
Because there's nothing we condemn

[GIRLS]
For the mortal human race
Who needs their space
This is the place
To be

[PLUTO]
'Cause you're not afraid of death
And when you're not afraid of death
Then you're ready for la vie!

[GIRLS]
Day is night when you're in Hades

[PLUTO]
That's the thing that gives it zing...

[GIRLS]
How about a hand for Hades...

[PLUTO]
I just love being king!

[ALL]
Ahh...
Hail to Pluto!