Stephen Sondheim
Pour le Sport
[WOMAN, yawning]
Aah aah aah

[MAN, yawning]
Aah aah aah

[WOMAN & MAN, yawning]
Aah aah aah aah aah aah aah

We're having such fun—
We're going golfing
We're having such fun
And feeling fit!
Isn't it mad? We never had so much fun—
Let's quit!

[WOMAN]
I feel like crying–
I got a birdie!
I wasn't trying
So who could know?
Never occurred to me
The bird was flying
So low!

[WOMAN & MAN]
Ah, to be out in the air again
Far from town!
Feeling as strong as a bear again—
[MAN]
Let's lie down

[WOMAN & MAN]
Straightening out all the kinks again
Slightly sore—
Ah, to be out on the links again
Pour le sport!

[WOMAN]
It's so amusing—

[MAN]
Let's have a highball—

[WOMAN]
It's so amusing—

[MAN]
It's like a game!
Hitting a small
Expensive ball

[WOMAN]
And losing
The same
I feel like fainting—

[MAN]
Let's look for my ball—

[WOMAN]
I feel like fainting—

[MAN]
Now let me see...

[WOMAN]
Oh! This must be mine–
It has a tiny
Painting
Of me

[WOMAN & MAN]
Back in the world of sports again—
Très, très gay

[MAN]
Back in Bermuda shorts again—

[WOMAN, spoken]
Mainbocher!
[WOMAN & MAN]
Nudging the ball with your toe again—
Who keeps score?
Ah, to be out with the pro again
Pour le sport

[MAN]
I want the niblick
Whatever that is

[WOMAN]
It's just a niblick
But it's divine

[MAN]
Even if it's
A simple little
Niblick
It's mine!

[WOMAN]
I need the three-wood—

[MAN]
Psst—it's silver-plated

[WOMAN]
I need the three-wood
But which is which?

[MAN, spoken]
Harriet told
Me hers was gold...

[WOMAN]
Well, she would—
The bitch

[WOMAN & MAN]
Ah, to be out on the green again
In the pink
Feeling deliciously lean again—

[MAN]
Where my drink?

[WOMAN]
Fresh as a girl of eighteen again

[WOMAN & MAN]
And what's more
We could keep at it yet for hours, getting thinner
Nevertheless, we've got to dress for dinner
Look at the time!
Let's say that I'm
The winner—
Fore!

What'll we do tomorrow
Pour le sport?