Stephen Sondheim
Welcome to Kanagawa
[MADAM, spoken]
Hurry up, girls, for heaven's sakes! The Americans will have already landed!

(sung)
I own a small commercial venture
With a modest clientele
In Kanagawa

[GIRLS]
I think I see one over there behind the trees!

[MADAM, spoken]
Sh!
(sung)
It's been my family's for centuries
And doing very well —
For Kanagawa

[GIRLS]
I hear they're covered all with hair, like some disease

[MADAM, spoken]
Sh!

[GIRLS]
Except their knees
[MADAM, spoken]
Sh!
(sung)
The arrival of these giants
Out of the blue
Bringing panic to my clients
Alters my view
With so many of them fleeing
Conferring, decreeing
I find myself agreeing
With the ancient haiku:

[RECITER]
The nest-building bird
Seeking the tree without twigs
Looks for new forests

[MADAM, spoken]
Exactly. 
(sung)
Welcome to Kanagawa

[GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa!

[MADAM, spoken]
No!
(sung)
Welcome to Kanagawa
[GIRLS, spoken]
Oh
(sung)
Welcome to Kanagawa

[MADAM, spoken]
So
(sung)
With all my flowers disappearing
In alarm
I've been reduced to commandeering
From the farm
But with appropriate veneering
Even green wood has its charm

[GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa
Welcome to Kanagawa
Welcome to Kanagawa
(spoken)
Yo-ho!

[MADAM & GIRLS, spoken]
Yo-ho!

[MADAM hands out pornographic fans to the GIRLS and points to each in turn.]
[MADAM]
That you'll have to bend for——
Can you see why?

[FIRST GIRL]
Yo-ho!

[MADAM]
That you need a friend for—
Still, you might try

[SECOND GIRL]
Yo-ho!

[MADAM]
That you do through the kimono—
Not very much

[THIRD GIRL]
Yo-ho!

[MADAM]
That you use glue, then you—
No, no, no, no
Those you don't touch!

[MADAM & GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa
Music and food for twenty yen—
Music and food—

[MADAM]
And maybe then—

[MADAM & GIRLS]
Welcome!
Welcome to Kanagawa!
Music and food and company!
Music and food—

[MADAM]
And for a fee—

[MADAM & GIRLS]
Welcome!

[MADAM]
When a country is in trouble
Choices are few
And apart from charging double
What can you do?
With my clients off defending
And strangers descending
I find myself depending
On the ancient haiku:

[RECITER]
The bird from the sea
Not knowing pine from bamboo
Roosts on anything

[MADAM, spoken]
Exactly. 

[GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa!

[MADAM, spoken]
Glow!

[GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa!

[MADAM, spoken]
Low!

[GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa!

[MADAM, spoken]
Grow!

[GIRLS]
Welcome to Kanagawa!

[MADAM, spoken]
Go!

Yo-ho! …
Yo-ho!