Stephen Sondheim
Waiting for the Girls Upstairs
[BUDDY]
Hey, up there!
Way up there!
Whaddaya say, up there?
(spoken)
I see it all. It's like a movie in my head that plays and plays. It isn't just the bad things I remember. It's the whole damn show. 
(sung)
Waiting around for the girls upstairs
After the curtain came down—
Money in my pocket to spend
"Honey, could you maybe get a friend for my friend?"

[BEN]
Hearing the sound of the girls above
Dressing to go on the town—

[BUDDY]
Clicking heels on steel and cement—

[BEN]
Picking up the giggles floating down through the vent—

[BEN & BUDDY]
Goddamnedest hours that I ever spent
Were waiting for the girls upstairs
[BUDDY]
Hey, up there!

[BEN]
Way up there!

[BUDDY]
Whaddaya say, up there?

[BEN]
That's where the keys hung and
That's where you picked up your mail...

[BUDDY]
I remember...
Me and Ben
Me and Ben
We'd come around at ten
Me and Ben
And hang around the wings
Watching things
With what-the-hell-was-his-name
You know, the old guy—?
Max! I remember!

Anyway
There we'd stay
Until the curtain fell
And when that curtain fell
Then all hell broke:
Girls on the run
And scenery flying
Doors slamming left and right—

[BEN]
Girls in their un-
Dies, blushing but trying
Not to duck out of sight—

[BEN & BUDDY]
Girls by the hun-
Dreds waving and crying
"See you tomorrow night!"

Girls looking frazzled and girls looking great
Girls in a frenzy to get to a date
Girls like a madhouse and two of them late...
And who had to wait?
And wait?
And wait...

[PHYLLIS]
Waiting around for the boys downstairs
Stalling as long as we dare
Which dress from my wardrobe of two?
(One of them was borrowed and the other was blue)
[SALLY]
Holding our ground for the boys below
Fussing around with our hair—

[PHYLLIS]
Giggling, wriggling out of our tights
Chattering and clattering down all of those flights—

[SALLY & PHYLLIS]
God, I'd forgotten there ever were nights
Of waiting for the boys downstairs

[BEN & BUDDY]
You up there!

[SALLY]
Down in a minute!

[BEN & BUDDY]
You two up there!

[PHYLLIS]
Just keep your shirts on!

[BEN & BUDDY]
Aren't you through up there?

[SALLY & PHYLLIS]
Heard you the first time!

[BEN & BUDDY]
Look, are you coming or
Aren't you coming 'cause
Look, if we're going
We
Got to get going 'cause
Look, they won't hold us
A table at ringside
All night

[SALLY & PHYLLIS]
Coming, we're coming
Will you hold your horses
We're coming, we're ready, be
There in a jiffy, we're
Coming, we're coming
All right!

[YOUNG SALLY]
Hi

[YOUNG BEN]
Girls...

[YOUNG PHYLLIS]
Ben...

[YOUNG BUDDY]
Sally...

[YOUNG SALLY]
Boy, we're beat

[YOUNG BUDDY]
You look neat

[YOUNG PHYLLIS]
We saw you in the wings

[YOUNG BEN]
How are things?

[YOUNG PHYLLIS]
Did someone pass you in?

[YOUNG BUDDY]
Slipped a fin
To what-the-hell-was-his-name
You know, the doorman

[YOUNG PHYLLIS & YOUNG SALLY]
Al?

[YOUNG BUDDY]
No

[YOUNG SALLY]
Big?

[YOUNG BUDDY]
Fat

[YOUNG PHYLLIS]
Young?

[YOUNG BUDDY]
Bald

[YOUNG SALLY]
Harry!

[YOUNG BUDDY]
Yeah

[YOUNG SALLY]
Okey doaks

[YOUNG BUDDY]
Come on, folks

[YOUNG PHYLLIS]
And where we're gonna go?

[YOUNG BEN]
A little joint I know

[YOUNG SALLY & YOUNG PHYLLIS]
What?

[YOUNG BUDDY & YOUNG BEN]
Great new show
There

[YOUNG PHYLLIS & YOUNG SALLY]
Hey, I thought you said
Tonight's be Tony's—

[YOUNG BUDDY]
This joint is just as grand

[YOUNG SALLY]
We girls got dressed for
Dancing at Tony's—

[YOUNG BEN]
This joint is in demand

[YOUNG SALLY & YOUNG PHYLLIS]
Ta-da, goodbye, you'll
Find us at Tony's—

[YOUNG BUDDY & YOUNG BEN]
Wait till you hear the band!

[YOUNG SALLY & YOUNG PHYLLIS]
You told us Tony's
That we'd go to Tony's
Then Ben mentioned Tony's—
Well, someone said Tony's
There's dancing at Tony's—
All right, then, we'll go!

[YOUNG BUDDY & YOUNG BEN]
I told you Tony's?
I never said Tony's!
When's Ben mentioned Tony's?
It's ritzy at Tony's—
All right, then, we'll go!

[BUDDY, BEN, SALLY & PHYLLIS]
Waiting around for the girls upstairs
Weren't we chuckleheads then?
Very young and very old hat—
Everybody has to go through stages like that

Waiting around for the girls upstairs—
Thank you, but never again
Life was fun, but oh, so intense
Everything was possible and nothing made sense
Back there when one of the major events
Was waiting for the girls
Waiting for the girls
Waiting for the girls upstairs