[MAMA MIZNER, spoken]
Addie, look at this, your brother's in the prize fight business![WILLIE]
Kid

How you doin'?


Stanley Ketchel, fighting Sailor Boy MacKenzie for the title

For the middleweight crown
We bought his contract for a measly fifty thousand[STANLEY KETCHEL]
Hiya, Willie!

Just great![MRS. YERKES]




Who's there?



For the title?





We did?
Remind me, when exactly did we find-[STANLEY, spoken]
I'd just like to say thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to my sainted mother, may she rest in peace, and most of all to the greatest manager a fighter ever had: Willie Mizner!

(sung)
Willie had style
Willie had brass
Willie said "Stan, I'm gonna give you some class"
Taught me to dress
Made me a sport
Gave me social status, and something to snort

Learned a lot from Willie; havin' laughs, gettin' tight
Coked 'til we were silly by the dawn's early light
Learned so much from Willie I forgot how to fight!
But, oh, what a year
That was a year!

[WILLIE]
God, I love this town!
Don't you love this town?
It's got all of these
Opportunities
Can't afford to turn them down
Some may not work out
Some go up the spout
Many more around the corner
And what's waitin' 'round the corner
Isn't that what life is all about?
[ADDIE MIZNER, spoken]
(He is talking on the phone.)
I know you're busy, Willie, I read the papers. But Mama thought she was gonna see you Sunday, and she-
...this Sunday? You're sure?

[MAMA, spoken]
Addie, you won't believe it: your brother's written a Broadway play!

[PAUL ARMSTRONG]
Willie had wit
Willie had brains
Willie had contacts in the lower domains
Knew how they lived
Knew what they'd say
That's why I said, "Willie, let's right a play!"

But where the hell was Willie came the time to rewrite?
Way the hell in Philly, off promoting some fight
Half a play with Willie closes opening night!
But, oh, what a year
That was a year!

[MRS. YERKES, spoken]
You're saying I invested in this play?

[WILLIE]
God, I love it here
Don't you love it here?
Every place you look
Is an open book
Every street a new frontier
If you sizzle, swell!
If you fizzle, well, nothing fails for long
If it doesn't fly, it doesn't
And it's time to sing another song
[ENSEMBLE]
Broadway Willie
Prince of bon vivants
Everybody wants
Broadway Willie Mizner!
Not some silly
Low-lifes and DuPonts
Cops and debutantes...

[ADDIE, spoken]
(He is on the phone again.)
You didn't make it last Sunday, or the Sunday before, Willie. What makes you think you're gonna make it this-
Fine. I'll tell her

[MAMA, spoken]
Look at this picture, dear, your brother kissing a racehorse!

[JOCKEY]
Willie and me, we had a run
Doing some things we shouldn't of done
'Til we get rumbled for some race we tried to fix
Willie says, "Kid, I'm your support
Let me explain things to the court"
So he explains and beats the rap
And I get sent up for six!

[ARMSTRONG]
Now I write a show
It doesn't get on

[KETCHEL]
Offer me some dough
I dive like a swan

[JOCKEY]
Once I was a pro
And now I'm a con!
But, oh, what a year!

[ARMSTRONG & KETCHEL]
That was a year!

[WILLIE]
From the mayor to the cop on the beat
Who's the only guy they all wanna meet?
Who's the man they call the king of the street?

[ENSEMBLE]
Good time Willie Mizner!
When you write about New Yorkers of note
Who's the wittiest by popular vote?
Always ready with a quip or a quote!

[WILLIE, spoken]
Be nice to the people you meet on the way up... 'cause they're the same people you're gonna meet on the way down!

[ENSEMBLE]
Night club fillies
Writers, racketeers
Everybody cheers
Good time Willie Mizner!
Ziegfeld lilies
Pimps and financiers-

[MRS. YERKES]
Willie had style
Willie had gall
Willie had ladies 'round the block and down the hall
Perfect in looks
Perfect at sex
Not so goddamn perfect at forging my checks!

[JOCKEY]
Sure I lost the crown, but
I made lots of green

[ARMSTRONG]
Sure, he took his time, but
We wrote a great scene

[KETCHEL]
I was voted biggest wit
In cell block eighteen!

[JOCKEY, ARMSTRONG, & KETCHEL]
Thanks to Willie Mizner!
Nimble Willie Mizner!

[KETCHEL]
Sharp as a hawk

[ARMSTRONG]
Cock of the walk

[MRS. YERKES, spoken]
You're tellin' me...

[JOCKEY]
King of Noo Yawk!

[ALL]
Stick around with Willie
You run out of luck
Stick around with Willie
You feel like a cluck
Stick around with Willie
You're gonna get stuck!
But you'll get a year-

[KETCHEL]
Maybe ten to twenty

[ALL]
You'll have a year!

[MRS. YERKES]
One was more than plenty!

[ALL]
You'll have the time
Of your life!

[WILLIE]
God, I love this town!

[ALL]
Broadway Willie:
King of New York!