Stephen Sondheim
Poor Baby
[HARRY]
Sarah?

[SARAH]
Yes?

[HARRY]
Bobbie

[SARAH]
What?

[HARRY]
I worry

[SARAH]
Why?

[HARRY]
She's all alone
There's no one-

[SARAH]
Where?

[HARRY]
In her life
[SARAH]
Oh

[HARRY]
Bobbie ought to have a fella
Poor baby, all alone
Nothing much to do except to check her phone
We're the only closeness she's really known
Poor baby!

[DAVID]
Honey

[JENNY]
Yes?

[DAVID]
Bobbie

[JENNY]
What?

[DAVID]
I worry

[JENNY]
Why?
[DAVID]
It's such a waste
There's no one -

[JENNY]
Where?

[DAVID]
In her life

[JENNY]
Oh

[DAVID]
Bobbie ought to have a fella
Poor baby, so unfair
Nothing left to do except to wash her hair
Maybe I should call her just to...

[JENNY]
Don't go there!

[DAVID]
Poor baby!

[HARRY]
Bobbie
[DAVID]
Bobbie

[HARRY]
Bobbie, sweetheart

[DAVID]
Bobby, baby

[HARRY]
You know
No one
Wants you to be happy
More than I do
No one
But isn't he a little bit, well, [DAVID]
You know You know
Face it, No one wants you to be happy
Why him? More than I do
Better, No one
No one-

[HARRY & DAVID]
But isn't he a little bit, well, [PETER]
You know, You know
Face it- No one wants you to be happy
Why him? More than I do
Better

[ALL]
You know, no one
Wants you to be happy
More than I do
No one
But isn't he a little bit, well-
You know
No one
Face it
But isn't he a little bit, well-

[Variously]
Dumb?
Lightweight?
Bloodless?
Small?
Young?
Too toothy?
Too eager?
Uncouth?
Too happy?
He's young enough to be your son
Disgusting?

[Together]
Poor baby, all alone
Throw a lonely dog a bone, it's still a bone
We're the only comfort that she's ever known
Poor baby!