Stephen Sondheim
Fay’s Arrival
[NARRATOR, spoken]
Tourists came in droves for the miracle waters, which thrilled Cora, until she discovered her miracle was a fake

[COOLEY, spoken]
Step up brethren and sister-en, and get your tickets!

[MAGRUDER, spoken]
Buy your blessings!

[COOLEY, spoken]
No, count your blessings, buy your tickets!

[ENSEMBLE]
I'm like the bluebird
I should worry, I should care
I should be a millionaire
I'm like the bluebird

[NARRATOR, spoken]
And here, nine minutes to the dot, is our heroine

[FAY, spoken]
So that's the miracle?

[COOLEY, spoken]
Yes ma'am, sister Nurse Apple!
[SCHUB, spoken]
Do you think our miracle can do anything for your Cookies?

[FAY, spoken]
If dirty water from a slimy old rock can do anything for anyone

[SCHUB, spoken]
You. You can't believe anything that can't be proved in your laboratory of a head. All miracles are fake to you Nurse Apple! Let these happy, hopeful pilgrims be lost and miserable again, Nurse Apple? Let this boom town be a ghost town again? Let those forty-nine loonies—