Stephen Sondheim
You Could Drive a Person Crazy
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You could drive a person crazy
You could drive a person mad
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First you make a person hazy
So a person could be had
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Then you leave a person dangling sadly
Outside your door
Which it only makes a person gladly
Want you even more

I could understand a person
If it's not a person's bag
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I could understand a person
If the person was a drag
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But worse than that
A person that
Titillates a person and then leaves him flat
Is crazy
She's a troubled person
She's a truly crazy person
Herself
When a person's personality is personable
She shouldn't oughta sit like a lump
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get her off of her rump
So single and attentive and attractive a girl
Is everything a person could wish
But turning off a person is the act of a girl
Who likes to pull the hooks out of fish

Knock, knock, is anybody there?
Knock, knock, it really isn't fair
Knock, knock, I'm working all my charms
Knock, knock, a zombie's in my arms

All that sweet affection!
What is wrong?
Where's the loose connection?
How long, O Lord, how long?
Bobbie baby, Bobbie bubby. Bobbie

You could drive a person buggy
You could blow a person's cool
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Like you make a person feel all huggy
While you make him feel a fool
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When a person says that you've upset him
That's when you're good
You impersonate a person better
Than a zombie should

I could understand a person
If she wasn't good in bed
Mmm
I could understand a person
If she actually was dead
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Exclusive you!
Elusive you!
Will any person ever get the juice of you?
You're crazy
You're a troubled person
You're a moving
Deeply maladjusted
Never to be trusted
Crazy person
Yourself
Bobbie is my hobby and I'm giving her up!