[BUDDY, spoken]
Hello, how you doing everybody? How are you?
(sung)
Hello, folks, we're into the follies
First, though, folks, we'll pause for a mo'
No, no, folks, you'll still get your jollies—
It's just I got a problem that I think you should know

You see, I've been very perturbed of late, very upset
I'm very betwixt and between
The things that I want, I don't seem to get
The things that I get—you know what I mean?

I got those
"God-why-don't-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I'll-see-ya-later"
Blues
That
"Long-as-you-ignore-me-you're-the-only-thing-that-matters"
Feeling
That
"If-I'm-good-enough-for-you-you're-not-good-enough"
And "Thank-you-for-the-present-but-what's-wrong-with-it" stuff
Those
"Don't-come-any-closer-cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you"
Feelings
Those
"Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-I-gotta-run-now"
Blues
(spoken)
Marge? Marge? Marge? Marge?

(sung)
She says she really loves me—

["MARGIE"]
I love him

[BUDDY]
—She says
She says she really cares—

["MARGIE"]
I care, I care

[BUDDY]
She says that I'm her hero—

["MARGIE"]
He's my hero

[BUDDY]
—She says
I'm perfect, she swears
["MARGIE"]
He's perfect, goddammit

[BUDDY]
She says that if we parted—

["MARGIE"]
If we parted—

[BUDDY]
—She says
She says that she'd be sick

["MARGIE"]
Whoa, god's sakes

[BUDDY]
She says she's mine forever—

["MARGIE"]
Forever

[BUDDY]
—She says
I gotta get outta here quick! Whoa!
I got those
"Whisper-how-I'm-better-than-I-think-but-what-do-you-know"
Blues
And a
"Long-as-you-keep-telling-me-I-stink-when-I-adore-you"
Feelings
That
"Say-I'm-all-the-world-to-you-you're-outta-your-mind-
I-know-there's-someone-else-and-I-could-kiss-your-behind"
But
"You-say-I'm-terrific-but-your-taste-was-always-rotten"
Feeling
Those
"Go-away-I-need-you"
"Come-to-me-I'll-kill-you"
"Darling-I'll-do-anything-to-keep-you-with-me-till-you-
Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-now-beat-it-will-you?"
Blues!

(spoken)
Sally? Sally? Sally? Sally?

(sung)
She says she loves another—

["SALLY"]
Another

[BUDDY]
—She says
A fella she prefers

["SALLY"]
Furs... Furs...

[BUDDY]
She says that he's her idol—

["SALLY"]
Idolidolidolidol

[BUDDY]
—She says
Ideal, she avers

["SALLY"]
You deal—"Avers"?

[BUDDY]
She says that anybody—

["SALLY"]
Buddy—bleah!

[BUDDY]
—She says
Would suit her more than I

["SALLY"]
Ay-yay-yay, you

[BUDDY]
She says that I'm a washout—

["SALLY"]
You're a washout!

[BUDDY]
—She says
I love her so much, I could die!
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo

[BUDDY]
Oh!
I got those
"God-why-don't-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I'll-see-ya-later"
Blues

["MARGIE" / "SALLY"]
Bla-bla-blues

[BUDDY]
That
"Long-as-you-ignore-me-you're-the-only-thing-that-matters"
Feeling

["MARGIE" / "SALLY"]
Feelings!

[BUDDY]
That
"If-I'm-good-enough-for-you-you're-not-good-enough"

["MARGIE" / "SALLY"]
Whoo!

[BUDDY]
And "Thank-you-for-the-present-but-what's-wrong-with-it"
Stuff

["MARGIE" / "SALLY"]
Whoo!

[BUDDY]
That
"Don't-come-any-closer-cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you"
Feelings

["MARGIE" / "SALLY"]
Bla-bla-blues

[BUDDY]
Those
"If-you-will-then-I-can't"
"If-you-won't-then-I-gotta"
"Give-it-to-me-I-don't-want-it-if-you-won't-I-gotta-have-it"
High-low-wrong-right-yes-no-black-white
"Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-I'll-see-ya-later"
Blues!