[MAN]
You

[WOMAN, spoken]
What?

[MAN]
Could drive a person crazy
You could drive a person mad

[WOMAN, spoken]
Ugh

[MAN]
First you make a person hazy
So a person could be had

[WOMAN, spoken]
Yeah, yeah, yeah

[MAN]
Then you leave a person dangling sadly
Outside your door
Which it only makes a person gladly
Want you even more
[WOMAN, spoken]
Thank you for sharing
You

[MAN, spoken]
Yes?

[WOMAN]
Could drive a person buggy
You could blow a person's cool
First you make a person feel all huggy
While you make her feel a fool

[MAN, spoken]
Wah, wah, wah, wah

[WOMAN]
When a person says that you've upset her
That's when you're good
You impersonate a person better
Than a zombiе should

[MAN]
I could understand a person

[WOMAN]
I could understand a pеrson
[MAN]
If she wasn't good in bed

[WOMAN]
If he said to go away

[MAN]
I could understand a person

[WOMAN]
I could understand a person

[MAN]
If she actually were dead

[WOMAN]
If he happened to be gay

[WOMAN & MAN]
But worse than that
A person that
Titillates a person and then leaves her / him flat
Is crazy
You're a troubled person
You're a truly crazy person
Yourself!
[WOMAN, spoken]
I'm so glad we're having this little chat. 

[MAN, spoken]
I'm glad you're glad. 
(sung)
When a person's personality is personable
She shouldn't oughta sit like a lump

[WOMAN, spoken]
Excuse me?

[MAN]
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get you off of your rump

[WOMAN, spoken]
Hey!
(sung)
So single and attentive and attractive a man
Is everything a person could wish

[MAN, spoken]
Exactly. 

[WOMAN]
But turning off a person is the act of a man
Who likes to pull the hooks out of fish

[WOMAN & MAN]
Knock, knock, is anybody there?
Knock, knock, it really isn't fair
Knock, knock, I'm working all my charms
Knock, knock, a zombie's in my arms

All that sweet affection!
What is wrong?
Where's the loose connection?
How long, O Lord, how long?

[MAN]
Barbara baby, Barbara bubi. Barbara

[WOMAN]
You could drive a person crazy

[MAN]
You could drive a person buggy

[WOMAN]
You could drive a person mad

[MAN]
You could blow a person's cool

[WOMAN]
First you make a person hazy

[MAN]
Get a person feeling huggy

[WOMAN]
So a person could be had

[MAN]
While you make her feel a fool

[WOMAN & MAN]
Exclusive you
Elusive you
Will any person ever get the juice of you?

[WOMAN]
You're crazy

[MAN]
You're crazy

[WOMAN]
You're a lovely person

[MAN]
You're a lovely person

[WOMAN]
You're a moving

[MAN]
Deeply maladjusted

[WOMAN]
Never to be trusted

[WOMAN & MAN]
Crazy person
Yourself!