[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Excuse me, but could you direct me to the Cookie Jar?

[SCHUB, spoken]
What for? There's nobody there, they're all here

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Where?

[SCHUB, spoken]
There!

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
They don't look it

[SCHUB, spoken]
Of course they don't look it, because all of them aren't

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Well, which ones are?

[SCHUB, spoken]
You're asking me?

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Yes?
[SCHUB, spoken]
You can't tell by looking? Do I look it?

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Actually, no

[SCHUB, spoken]
There you are!

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Then why aren't you there?

[SCHUB, spoken]
Because I'm herе! I'm in charge!

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
You can't be Dr. Detmold

[SCHUB, spoken]
Of coursе I'm not Dr. Detmold! He isn't here, but he's at the Cookie Jar

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Which is?

[SCHUB, spoken]
That way!
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Thank you

[CORA, spoken]
Schub, I absolutely refuse to be hated again! Ah, Dr. Detmold?

[SCHUB, spoken]
Who in that line is a patient of yours?

[DETMOLD, spoken]
My new assistant will help you

[CORA, spoken]
And where is he?

[DETMOLD, spoken]
He knows, I don't. He was due several patients ago. Ah! Doctor

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Doctor!

[DETMOLD, spoken]
Detmold, L. Morris

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Hapgood, J. Bowden
[DETMOLD, spoken]
I'm terrible on faces, but I never remember a name. Mayor Schub, Comptroller Hoover Hooper, my new assistant Dr. J

[HAPGOOD & SCHUB, spoken]
Doctor

[CORA, spoken]
He's Schub, you're Hapgood, and I'm delighted

[DETMOLD, spoken]
Good. If you need help, bring your dreams to the Cookie Jar, and my new assistant will confuse you

[CORA, spoken]
So, you are gonna take care of me

[SCHUB, spoken]
He's going to take care of us, first! Now, Doctor, here's our problem in a nutshell

[CORA, spoken]
Oh, Schub, haha

[SCHUB, spoken]
We must know immediately which of the people on that line are bonafide pilgrims, entitled to take our miracle waters, and which are Cookies

[DETMOLD, spoken]
Yes

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
You've got the wrong man

[SCHUB, spoken]
Now, Doctor, you're an eminent psychiatrist, aren't you?

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
No

[SCHUB, spoken]
I loathe modesty

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Even if I were Freud, I've just arrived here. How can I tell you like that who's a pilgrim and who's a Cookie? Dear Mayor

[CORA, spoken]
Ass

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
That is obvious. Shall we dance?

[CORA, spoken]
Your place or mine?

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Here and now

[SCHUB, spoken]
What the hell is this?

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
I have to think, and I think best on my feet. And I must think of a quick way to discover who is who and what is what and make everybody—

[SCHUB, spoken]
Yes?

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
—happy! Mayor?

[CORA, spoken]
You may