[Verse 1]
Another hundred lyrics just flew out of my brain
As I stand here on stage
With another hundred lyrics that I'll never recall
And on every damn page is
Another hundred lyrics that'll drive me insane
Right in front of you all
'Cause the words are a pain
Not to mention the sprawl
Of the melody
But we're all singing Sondheim
Some songs are weird, some are quick
We're all singing Sondheim
And when the rhymes get this thick
It isn't fair
I need more air

[Chorus]
But I'll try to follow the internal rhymes
And infernal counts
With the tricky meter and the picky words
In absurd amounts
And we lose our places where the phrases change
Where the rhythmic flows
Now I think I've got it, 'cause this part's a breeze
But you never know
Will the tempo switch or will he change the key
'Cause something has to go?
Did you find my measure, 'cause I looked in vain?
And another modulation to increase the pain
Look, I'll learn it by tomorrow
If I don't go insane
[Post-Chorus]
And another hundred lyrics just flew out of my brain

[Verse 2]
But we're all singing Sondheim
Some songs are sweet, some are strange
We're all singing Sondheim
There's not one tune in my range
And every song
Is too damn long

[Bridge]
Well, there are worse things
Than staring at the water on a Sunday
There are worse things
Than staring at the water
As you're posing for a picture
After sleeping on the ferry
After getting up at seven
To come over to an island
In the middle of a river
Half an hour from the city
On a Sunday

[Chorus]
But I'll try to follow the internal rhymes
And infernal counts
With the tricky meter and the picky words
In absurd amounts
At a speed like this you miss the syllables
That I can't pronounce
[Interlude]
Pardon me, is everybody there?
Because if everybody's there
I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding
I'd appreciate your going even more
I mean, you must have lots of better things to do
And not a word of it to Paul
Remember Paul? You know, the man I'm gonna marry
But I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin
Anyone as wonderful as he is—
But I thank you all
For the gifts and the flowers
Thank you all
Now it's back to the showers
Don't tell Steve

[Chorus]
But I think I've got it 'cause this part's a breeze
But you never know
'Cause he switched the tempo and he changed the key
'Cause something had to go
Did you find my measure, 'cause I looked in vain?
And another modulation to increase the pain
Look, I'll learn it by tomorrow
But I'll probably be insane
[Post-Chorus]
And another hundred lyrics just flew out of my brain
And another hundred lyrics just flew out of my brain
And another hundred lyrics just flew out of my brain
And twenty-seven dinner plates
And thirty-seven butter knives
And forty-seven paperweights
And fifty-seven candles
And another hundred lyrics just flew out of my brain