[BOBBY]
Every little pillow has its use
Take it from a connoissoor
I'm the boy who coined the word "seduce"
Not some lousy amachoor
Every little thing has its function
In conjunction
With amour
Take it from a boy who's had
Rendezvoos galoor

To impress, to appeal
Use finesse, be genteel

Exhibit A:
A couch must be sprayed with
The fragrance of new pine
And soon all vertical things'll be supine
A woman'll feel at ease
As long as she's smelling trees
In bloom

Exhibit B:
A door ain't a door 'til
You close it and lock it
She can't get out if the key's in your pocket
And nobody else but you can get in—
The room
Exhibit C:
Music, if it's slow and smooth
Hath charms to soothe
The savage breast
Get her stretched out
And let rhythm do the rest
That fascinating rhythm

Exhibit D:
A cushion is just like
A girl when it's fluffed up
Girls and cushions are
Meant to be roughed up
But never, never pawed!

To appeal, to impress
Be genteel, use finesse
With the shyest and daintiest
Creature on earth—a broad

Exhibit E:
A flask is for girls who
May have their suspicions
A shot will help 'em forget inhibitions
The shot'll become a cup
And finally it'll be
"Bottoms up!"
Exhibit F:
A hammock is drafty
A place to catch cold in
But just remember that silence is golden
And hammocks are better than sofas or swings
No springs

Exhibit G:
Lights make a room cheerier
But I prefer
The lights that fail
'Cause with no lights
You can talk to her in Braille
That's what they mean
When they say love is blind

Exhibit H:
A girl is a thing which is made
Out of glass and lace
So you must take care
When you're setting up shop
If you want to come out on top
Then put every prop in its proper place
Just checking:

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-
Rest my case!