Epic Rap Battles of History
Henry VIII vs Hillary Clinton
Henry:
I am Henry VIII! Kind of England, Ireland, and Wales!
You're a presidential candidate in a pants suit who fails!
Girls don't belong in politics, too much stress!
Should stay at home and wash the stains out of another lady's dress!
I tend to have separation issues with women
Its like their head's the pope and their necks, the Church of England!
Madam Secretary? Hold my calls, I'm off for a walk
'Cause no one's beat you so bad since the Swahili dude named Barack!
Hillary:
Hahaha! Lets just get down to it
You done messed with the wrong Rodham, I'm about to tutor and boot it
You make more false accusations than our white water
Its not your wive's fault your balls keep making daughters
Your country's the size of Ohio, you couldn't even beat Spain
I could defeat you with a grass roots email campaign!
I'd eat you alive, but I'd probably never finish
You're so fat your whole body could feed a whole freakin' village!
Henry:
I'm big because I'm God's Appointed Vessel
The only way you can beat me is maybe if we wrestle
I mean, come on, is it any wonder why you can't keep your man at home?
The only thing getting blown is Bill's Saxophone!
Hillary:
You couldn't even handle the goods that I'm selling!
I'm more powerful than Oprah! (And more handsome than Ellen!)
Don't you interrupt me, you chauvinist prick!
Put the needs of your country behind the whims of your dick!
I'll banish you back to your own tower of London, baby
You can tell them Henry VIII got spanked by the First Lady!