-thank u, next (video version) lyrics

[Intro: Colleen Ballinger, Jonathan Bennet, Stefanie Drummond, Troye Sivan, Scott Nicholson & Gabi DeMartino]
One time, on Twitter
I heard Ariana was pregnant
So I got pregnant so we could be pregnant at the same time
Turns out it was just a rumor
Ariana Grande told me my hair looks sexy pushed back
She's not wrong
Ariana broke off an engagement
So I found a guy to propose me
And I broke off an engagement
I heard she's a lesbian now
And dating some chick called Aubrey
It's f**king sick
I heard that if you record her snoring
And play it backwards
It sounds like Fantasia
Ariana says honest to God knock me out
So I decided to punch myself in thе face
It was awesome

[Verse 1: Ariana Grande]
Thought I'd еnd up with Sean
But he wasn't a match
Wrote some songs about Ricky
Now I listen and laugh
Even almost got married
And for Pete, I'm so thankful
Wish I could say, "Thank you" to Malcolm
'Cause he was an angel