[Intro: Optimus Prime & Mr. Krabs]
This is a Bikini Bottom Banger
Argh, Optimus, you've got me feelin’ some kind of way
I'm being kept here against my will

[Verse 1: SpongeBob]
What did I do to be left without you?
I watched you leaving
Got a note on your rock saying you're gone for good
I’m struggling breathing
I was chasing a star, just wanted to bone
I thought, "I won't care," but now I'm alone
I just wanted you to know
Wanted you to know

[Chorus 1: SpongeBob]
Patrick, get on the ground
My spatula's ready to slap you around
Been throbbing, nonstopping, my balls black and blue
Just when I think about you

[Verse 2: Patrick]
SpongeBob, that's pretty intense
I love you a little, but only as friends
All of my urges are slowly being purging
I'm a holy star, I must repent
The things that we did, I cannot repeat
Bathing in kelp juice, and kissing your feet
Oh no, it's happened again
I'm turned on by SpongeBob, my square, yellow friend
[Chorus 1: SpongeBob]
Patrick, get on the ground
My spatula’s ready to slap you around
Been throbbing, nonstopping, my balls black and blue
Just when I think about you

[Chorus 2: Patrick]
SpongeBob, I tried my best
Can’t hide that I'm horny, I know I’m a pest
I think that I should be under arrest
But handcuffs slide off me, slide off me
They slide right off me

[Outro: Optimus Prime]
What the fuck?