[Verse 1: Ryan Guldemond with Molly Guldemond and Jasmin Parkin]
You and me, we're not the same
I am a sinner, you are a saint
When we get to the pearly gates
You'll get the green light, I'll get the old door in the face
Doo-doo-doo, I'm a loser, a disgrace
Yeah!

[Verse 2: Ryan Guldemond with Molly and Jasmin]
I've found love in the strangest place
Tied up and branded, locked in a cage
I say I'm gonna stage a great escape
Let loose a love all pent up and painfully out of place
Doo-doo-doo, I'm a loser, a disgrace
You're a beauty, a luminary, in my face

[Pre-Chorus]
I've got a lot, not a lot, I gotta lot less than a lot

[Chorus: Jasmin Parkin with Molly Guldemond, with Ryan Guldemond]
I've got problems
Not just the ones that are little
It's those people problems
That's something to consider
When you come for dinner at my place
[Post-Chorus: Ryan Guldemond with Molly and Jasmin]
Oo-oo-ooh-ooh-ooh
Oo-oo-ooh, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh
Oo-oo-ooh-ooh-ooh
(Yeah!)

[Verse 3: Ryan Guldemond, with either/with both Molly and Jasmin]
I seem to find myself with the craziest of dames
They get the ball on me, not to forget the chains (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Some say strange be a stranger's game
Some go to baseball, some go debase a face they can't seem to save
Doo-doo-doo, I'm a loser, a disgrace, yeah
You're a beauty, a luminary, in my face

[Pre-Chorus: Ryan Guldemond with Molly and Jasmin]
I've got a lot, not a lot, I gotta lot less than a lot

[Chorus: Jasmin Parkin with Molly Guldemond, with Ryan Guldemond]
I've got problems
Not just the ones that are little
It's those people problems
That's something to consider
When you come for dinner at my place

[Bridge: Ryan Guldemond]
Woo!
Yeah!
*Ryan noises*
Hahahaha!
[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus: Jasmin Parkin with Molly Guldemond with Ryan Guldemond]
I've got problems
Not just ones that are little
It's those people problems
That's something to consider
When you come for dinner at my
Something to consider
When you come to dinner at my place