Never had good manners
Had pretty poor hygiene
Dirty words I seemed to learn
Naturally

Didn't do my school work
So I didn't make good grades
Always knew I'd pay for that
One day

When I was a baby
My father sat me on his knee
He said, "Always be a good child
Don't take after me."

Went through every ashtray
For half-smoked cigarettes
Opened up my window
Smoked the rest

Set my sister's doll on fire
Liked huffing gasoline
Only books I ever read
Nudie magazines

When I was a baby
My father sat me on his knee
He said, "Always be a good child
Don't take after me."
Baby, be good
Learn from my mistakes
Do what you should

Baby, be good
Learn from my mistakes
Do what you should

Now I take my little babies
And I sit 'em on my knee
I say, "Always be a good child
Don't take after me
Don't take after me."