[Intro:]
So a buddy comes up to one day, and says
"Yo, you want to go to a movie?"
And I'm like
"Yeah, but just one thing... No homo!"

[Verse 1:]
So I'm at the movies
When this square comes up
Bumps into me, and grazes my dick
And I say, "listen here you prick!
You can do all that shit at home on your own
But I simply will not tolerate it in my zone!
I'll ask one thing of you, pal
Is this homo?"
And he said to me, "Nah, sorry man
I'm just walking to my seat
I got a family to feed"
And I'm like, "Sounds pretty homo to me
I will ask you again, homo or no homo?"

[Chorus:]
I feel like everywhere I walk
Somebody wants to touch my cock
I feel so uncomfortable
With all these homosexuals
People call me a bozo
I'm just not a homo
[Verse 2:]
I went to the park
I just wanted it to be a relaxing day
I sat down on a bench
When suddenly, some guy walks up and asks
"Hey man, is that seat taken?"
And I'm like
"What are you trying to get into my ass or something?"
And he didn't say anything back
He just gave me a really weird look
Wow, what a homo

[Chorus:]
I feel like everywhere I walk
Somebody wants to touch my cock
I feel so uncomfortable
With all these homosexuals
People call me a bozo
I'm just not a homo

[Verse 3:]
I was looking a nice bar
To relax with my friends
All I could find was a place downtown
That seemed to be rather rundown
So I there headed looking for a good time
That's not what I got
When I walked in
I saw a bunch of shirtless guys
Nothing weird about that
One of them came up to me, and said
"Hey, after tonight, you'll be filled with my love"
And I replied
"Okay, but first I gotta know
This is gonna be no homo?"
And he said
"Of course not, if you don't want it to be"
After that night, my sexuality's been fully realized
I'm gay
[Chorus:]
I feel like everywhere I walk
Somebody wants to avoid my cock
I feel so uncomfortable
With all these heterosexuals
People call me a bozo
I'm just not a hetero

[Outro:]
No homo