[Verse 1:]
When I was a little boy
I had a very special toy
My parents tried to take it away
So I dreampt of killing them every day
Every Christmas night in my crib
I kept an eye out for old St. Nick
I felt so safe with my toy beside
I used it to stab Santy Claus in his thighs
I woke up the next morning and realized
That Santa had my daddy's eyes

[Verse 2:]
The lovely men in big white coats
Seemed to me rather morose
They shed me not one smile
They took me to a place in the distance of a mile
I met some friends in this happy home
But I say that in a regretful tone
A gang of them made me weep
So I strangled them in their sleep
Because of this I had another meeting with the men in white
And from that meeting I wore a jacket that was very tight

[Verse 3:]
Twenty years (or so I'm told)
This killing gig was running old
They hurt my ears with their screams
So I their took their lives as I pleased
First I cut them at their knees
Slicing and dicing is such a breeze
Next I scoop out their eyes
Oh shit my oven just went off, it's the chicken thighs
My life now is complete
But first I have chicken to eat