Control is kryptonite

uncertainty a parasite

Nothing surprises me anymore


Life feels like

a flat black river


unmoving and unclear

In unnatural ways


I spoke to Marcela on

Zoom the other day

Said "I hold myself hostage

to my to-do lists"

Underneath compulsion
lies a quest for balance


as a prize, a dog-eared

lotto ticket for

inner peace & other lies

Because the source of

the disorder has always

been on my inside

A gnawing fear bad things

will happen if I stop

holding on so tight