I have a private list
I tell no one about

of terrible things
that might never happen to me.

A supernova inventory
of star-shaped fears

that explodes and expands
when things get out of hand

Top of the list:

1. Carrening off a cliff

when I am 56
in a 911 Carrera

2. Having no friends

Being forgotten in the end

(Would death be avoided
if I drove a Panamera?)
3. Depending on strangers

Growing older alone
Having kids

Being trapped
in a life I don't own

4. Remaining child-free

and living in peace
but never knowing love
as dazzling or deep

5. Is the strangest one on the list

I'm scared to be happy
I'm scared that I'll miss

being sad
Even though

I so want
to be free

But I've known it so long
I don't want it to leave
and I guess that's the end
of a list I don't need