[Verse 1]
The bastard in the kitchen
Used to sing a lovely song
And all the town would come around
And all would sing along
The manner that he sang it seemed
That he could tell no lies
It's quite a feat that none could see
The shit behind his eyes (Hey!)

[Verse 2]
The bastard in the kitchen
Used to tell a tempered tale
One to cover up the fact
That he was up for sale
And flaccid as a withered soul
He threw it down the drain
By burning all of the town hall
He used to build his name (Hey!)

[Chorus]
The bastard in the kitchen
Nothing we can do right now
But sing a different song
Nothing we can do but drag
His name until it's gone (Hey!)
[Verse 3]
The bastard in the kitchen
Just isn't who we thought
Turns out that this once noble man's
Already fucking bought
And if he ever thinks he can be
More than Tiktok's bitch
I highly recommend that he
Remember who he is