I called this number three
Times already today
But I, I got scared, I put it back in place—
I put my phone back in place
I still don't know if I
Should have called up
Look, just tell me why don't you
If I'm out of place
Cause here's your chance to make me feel awkward
And wish that I
Had never even called up this place

I saw you though today
Walk by with Hippie Johnny
I had to call up and say how I want to take his place
So this phone call today concerns
Hippie Johnny
He's always stoned, he's never straight
I saw you today, you know, walk by with hippie Johnny
Look, I had to call up and say, I want to take his place
See he's stoned, hippie Johnny
Now get this, I'm straight
And I wanna take his place

Now look, I like him too, I like
Hippie Johnny
But I'm straight
And I want to take his place
I said, I'm straight
I said, I'm straight
I'm proud to say
Well I'm straight
And I wanna take his place
Now I've watched you walk around here
I've watched you meet
These new boyfriends, I know
And you tell how they're deep
Look but, if these guys, if they're really so great
Tell me, why can't they at least take this place and take it straight?
Why always stoned, like hippie Johnny is?
I'm straight and I want to take his place
Oh I'm certainly not stoned, like hippie Johnny is
I'm straight and I want to take his place
I said, I'm straight
I said, I'm straight
I'm
I'm straight and I want to take his place
All right you Modern Lovers what do you say?
(I'm straight!)
Tell the world now
(I'm straight!)
That's it
(I'm straight!)
Yeah I'm straight and I want to take his place