[Verse 1, Julia Sweeney]
Just because I'm Irish, he thinks that I should know
Every Irish bar in Manhattan
He who was born by Galway Bay
Where they socialize more than we do here in the U.S.A

[Verse 2, Julia Sweeney]
Just because I'm Irish, which he says he should have know
By my name Sweeney, an Irish that I am
Doesn't mean I know each Irish bar, so smoky and so dark
I'm more likely to be seen in Central Park

[Aside, Julia Sweeney, Jonathan Richman
Now, Julia, have you ever been to Leary's Pub, down on 14th Street and Broadway?
Uh, no, no
You haven't?
Have you ever been to Reagan's, then?
It's down on 8th Street
Uh, no, I haven't
Then, in the East Village, we have Douly's
Have you been there?
Uh, no, I'm sorry I—
How long have you lived in New York anyway, then, Julia?

[Verse 3, Julia Sweeney]
Just because I'm Irish, he thinks that I should know
Every Irish bar north of SoHo
Just because he comes from County Clare or County Cork
Where they socialize more than we do in rush-around New York
[Verse 4, Julia Sweeney]
Just because I'm Irish, which he thinks he was supposed to know
By something Irish in the way I smile
Doesn't mean I know each Irish bar here in Midtown New York
I'm more likely to be seen in Central Park

[Outro, Jonathan Richman]
She's more likely to be seen in Central Park