If I was Washington, valleys would I forge for
If I was a fat man, fun would I gorge for
If I was Genghis, gold would I hoard for
I wish I had a dollar a day

If I was a gouger, gouge would I wish for
If I was a fisherman, fish would I fish for
If I was a French whore, Frenchies I'd dish for
Wish I had a dollar a day

Turkeys are for flying, chickens are for eating
And I'm all for fun, fun is forbidden
Forbidden's forgotten and forgotten's for getting
I wish I had a dollar a day

Buzzards are for circling, circles are for heroes
Heroes for floating fiddles to Nero
Fingers for counting numbers for zero
Wish I had a dollar a day

If I was Washington, valleys would I forge for
If I was a fat man, fun would I gorge for
If I was Genghis, gold would I hoard for
Wish I had a dollar a day

If I was Washington, I'd wear wood teeth
If I was a policeman, I'd walk me a stone beat
If I was a singer, I'd stop right now
I wish I had a dollar a day