Hey Girl
I wrote you a new song
About Valentine's Day
And how it's one fat lie

[Verse 1]
If you Google St. Valentine's History
You're gonna find out that he's a bit of a mystery
There's debate among the who, when, where, and why
The Church says there's three Saint Valentines!
The stories all vary, but they all agree
He was beaten and killed pretty terribly
Stories galore of his courageous acts
Though none of them were based on historical facts!

[Chorus]
So it's Valentine's Day and you're single
And you've got nobody with which you can mingle (Baby)
Dry your eyes, no tears, don't cry
Don't you know Valentine's is one fat lie?
Nobody really knows who St. Valentine was
So they gave him lots of stories, just because
Dry your eyes, no tears, don't cry
Now you know Valentine's is one fat lie

[Verse 2]
We spend 20 billion dollars a year
On roses and heart-shaped souvenirs
Sentimental ads try to tug at our heartstrings
"Show her you love her with a 40 thousand dollar ring!"
So it goes, we'll drive to Walmart
Buy a rose, and a card from Hallmark
Surprise your girl
"Oh, Honey, you're so sweet!"
But is it really that sweet when there's a deadline to meet?
[Chorus]
So it's Valentine's Day and you're single
And you've got nobody with which you can mingle (Baby)
Dry your eyes, no tears, don't cry
Don't you know Valentine's is one fat lie?
Our economy depends on it every year
It's really less about love, more related to fear
So dry your eyes, no tears, don't cry
Now you know Valentine's is one fat lie

[Bridge]
I'm not trying to hate on couples on this holiday
Love can be so beautiful in oh so many ways
Why you gotta have to wait
To take your mate out on a specific date
When you got 365 days a year?

[Chorus]
So it's Valentine's Day and you're single
And you've got nobody with which you can mingle (Baby)
Dry your eyes, no tears, don't cry
Don't you know Valentine's is one fat lie?
So it's Valentine's Day and you're single
And you've got nobody with which you can mingle (Baby)
Dry your eyes, no tears, don't cry
Don't you know Valentine's is one fat li—
It's over