[Song 1]
Santa ain't real so grow the hell up
Santa ain't real so grow the hell up
I said Santa ain't real so grow the hell up
Santa ain't real, grow up
Again!
Santa ain't real--

[Song 2]
I've got a puppy for christmas
But now I've got a rash
I guess I am allergic
So I'm putting her in the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaash!

[Song 3]
The only thing I want from Old Saint Nick
Is to ban Hoverboards
'Cause they make you look like a dick

[Song 4]
Nutcrackers don't work

[Song 5]
I really want a Christmas Tree
But Mom & Dad, they won't let me
'Cause I'm Jewish, yeah yeah
'Cause I'm Jewish
I really want that tree though
[Song 6]
Now your mother and I have decided
That we're going our separate ways...
'Cause it's your fault, scooba-doo-bop-bop-bop--

[Song 7]
*demonic screaming*

[Song 8]
Jingle, Winter, Santa, Rudolph
These are Christmas words I know
Jesus, Snowflakes, Sleigh Bells, Manger
Yet more Christmas words I know

[Song 9]
(I don't—)
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
I love you
Christmas, Christmas
Hm-hm, I love you
Scooby-dee-bop-bop
Christmas, everyday