[Song 1]
They caught me frenchin' my cousin under the mistletoe
Not again!
Oh, what a shame that we got caught
Yip a dubby dub bub

[Song 2]
Baby, did you know
That most Christmas songs
Were actually written by Jews?
B-b-baby, did you kno-ow

[Song 3]
I'm standing under mistletoe waiting for some chicks
I'm standing under mistletoe waiting for some chicks
I'm standing under mi-

[Song 4]
Christmas time is here once more
Tum ticky ticky tum ticky tum too
I want a Playstation 4
Tum ticky ticky tum ticky tum too

[Song 5]
We're worried about you, Santa
We're worried about your weight
Obesity's a health issue
That really can't freaking wait
You're too damn fat
Santa, you're too damn fat
[Song 6]
Jingle those bells and deck the halls
And Frosty, Rudolph, and Santa's sleigh
And a mistletoe and a dreidel too
Uh...

[Song 7]
Kwanzaa is important, too
So break out your menorahs
Or... whatever you guys use
I don't know, I'm not Kwanziaan
So...

[Song 8]
Candy canes! Candy canes!
Lick 'em in a spear
And kill your enemies
Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab

[Song 9]
I wish I had a dad for Christmas
He told me he was going to the store
I don't think he did