[Song 1]
Santa ain't real, so grow the hell up
Santa ain't real, so grow the hell up
I said Santa ain't real, so grow the hell up
Santa ain't real, grow up
Again!
Santa ain't real-

[Song 2]
I got a puppy for Christmas
But now I've got a rash
I guess I am allergic
So I'm putting her in the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

[Song 3]
The only thing I want from Old Saint Nick
Is to ban hoverboards, 'cause they make ya' look like a dick

[Song 4]
Nutcrackers don't work

[Song 5]
I really want a Christmas tree
But mom and dad, they won't let me
'Cause I'm Jewish
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm Jewish
I really want that tree, though
[Song 6]
Now your Mother and I have decided
That we're going our separate ways
'Cause it's your fault
Skooba doo bap bap bap ba doo

[Song 7]
EUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!

[Song 8]
Jingle, Winter, Santa, Rudolph
These are Christmas words I know
Jesus, Snowflake, Sleigh Bells, Manger
Yet more Christmas words I know

[Song 9]
I don't...
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, I love you
Christmas, Christmas, mm-mm, I love you
Skoobidi dap bap, Christmas, every day!