[Verse 1]
Well, jingle my bells
And deck the halls
It's the very best time of year for all
It's Christmas time, it's Christmas time, hell yeah!
So grab the eggnog
Grab the rum
And grab your dad, bro, sis, dog, mum
It's Christmas time, it's Christmas time, hell yeah!

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I can't remember how
To get my face to frown

[Chorus]
Christmas time is here
So gather 'round the tree
You're not allowed to be
A dick on Christmas
It's that time of year
Where anyone can see
That you're not allowed to be
A dick on Christmas

[Verse 2]
I wonder how
Anyone could be a Scrooge
When the whole town
Is lit up in red and green hues
It's here, it's now
So if you're confused, just
Don't be a dick, don't be a dick
Don't be a dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick
Dicks aren't allowed on...
[Chorus]
Christmas time is here
So gather 'round the tree
You're not allowed to be
A dick on Christmas
It's that time of year
Where anyone can see
That you're not allowed to be
A dick on Christmas

[Bridge]
The choirs and the angels sing
The carolers, they're caroling
And if it's not your type of thing
Well, zero are the fucks I bring!

[Chorus]
Christmas time is here
So gather 'round the tree
You're not allowed to be
A dick on Christmas
It's that time of year
Where anyone can see
That you're not allowed to be
A dick on Christmas