[Alex]
What's up everyone, my name is Alex
And welcome to 'Animeme Rap Battle of the Bands'
Today we got, One Direction from the UK
Where the tea is always hot
Versus, Five Seconds of Summer from down under
Where the shrimp is always succulent, baby

[Luke Hemmings of 5SOS]
Hold up, give me a sec
Or better yet five
You really think you could battle us
And actually make it out alive?
Your name is One Direction which is weird
Since you all go both ways
You do whatever Simon says
Just like that children's game

You're a reality show creation
Your stuff is straight mindless
The only difference between you and the Kardsashians
Is a stylist

Out music is five-dimensional, mate
Yours is 1-D
You don't even write your own songs
You're just singing kareoke
[Harry Styles of 1D]
You'll forever be in our shadows
Like a total eclipse
We'll devour you like a plate
Of fish and vinegar chips
Go back to where you came from
Bloody boomerang style
Did your Mum drink during pregnancy?
Hell, you're a foster's child

What's it like being the least talented
Blokes in Australia?
It's a low bar to clear
But you're more shite than Iggy Azalea

Your five seconds of fame are up
Your music's cookie cutter
We'll put an end to your careers
Just like your mascot: Croc Hunter

[Luke Hemmings]
Your waxed boyish chests
Are straight up bizarre
Your name's Harry Styles
What are you, a 70s porn star?
You brits are whiter than white
Like a bunch of spooky phantoms
Go step out in the sun, poofters
And stop making those dance club anthems
Five seconds of summer
Is all the heat you can take
Even at room temperature
We all know that Harry stays baked
You dudes weren't even friends
You met on TV like a couple of actors
How can you be number one
When you finished 3rd on X-Factor?

[Harry Styles]
We're the first British group
To debut number one on the US chart
No one's ever done it
Not Lennon
Not Jagger
No, not even McCart

Bigger than Big Ben, we are
The biggest thing since The Beatles
I'll have your lady going down under
While you're curling up fetal

You wankers are babies, right?
We're full grown stars
We could end your lives
By leaving you inside of hot cars
We're the gents who made you big, yeah?
Now it's time to pay your tax
You'll be back on YouTube
Still with fewer views than Keyboard Cat