[Intro, Spoken]
Hey guys, I know that Yesterday I Asked You to
Help me write a rap song, or whatever, but
It's gonna have to wait, because Eminem just leaked his newest track
And, it is fire, it is straight up fire, take a listen

[Verse 1]
My name is Eminem, and I'm here to say
That sex before marriage is never the way
Don't take drugs, it'll make you cray
If you see a white van, just stay away
You won't get into heaven, unless you pray!
Why do middle aged white men start raps this way?
The Kidz Bop kids are here to stay
And the Kidz Bop kids are on tour this May
And I'm loving Kidz Bop in a major way
I hope you listened to a bit of Kidz Bop today

[Verse 2]
My name is Eminem, and i'm here to say
If a bully bullies you, then get away
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
Eat your broccoli, and you'll be tall some day!
Your smile is perfect in every single way
And you have more flavor than Bobby Flay
Monopoly with two people is weird to play
I don't get, why all the hate on Chick-fil-A?
Eating children? That's not okay!
Jack's Eminem parody with Tay Zonday!
You should love Jesus in every way
If someone tries to give you drugs, "No way Jose!"
When I was in third grade, I thought I was gay
Me and my dad going all the way!
A little friendliness goes a long way
Introduce the sponsor with a cheesy segway!
[Outro, Spoken]
What a great idea!
You know, speaking of cheesy
Today's sponsor is Blue Apron!
It helps you cook good!