Song 1: Give Me Smash
[Verse 1: Jack]
If I don't get Smash for Christmas
I will hunt you down (hunt you down)
I'll gut you like the fish you are
And watch as your pets all drown

Give me Smash

Song 2: I Don't Really Get TikTok
[Verse 1: Jack]
I don't really get TikTok, do you?
No, I don't really get TikTok, do you?
Nope, I don't really get TikTok, do you?
No, I don't really get TikTok, do you?
Nope, I don't really get TikTok, do you?
Nope, I don't really get TikTok, do you?
No, I don't really get TikTok, do you?

Song 3: Baby It's Cold Outside 2
[Verse 1: Jack 1 & Jack 2]
It's perfectly fine
Actually it's very problematic so
One of the best of all time
It normalizes rape culture, are you kidding me?
A Christmas classic
Delete it
Yum yum, so fun
What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?
I listen to it everyday
The song is really not that okay
I wish that I could sing it year-round
Do you even hear how you sound?
I see no debate
Great talk dude
Now can we go play Smash?

Song 4: Traveling To See Grandma
[Verse 1: Jack & Jack's Grandma]
Traveling to see Grandma, travelling to see Grandma
Traveling to see Grandma, traveling to see Grandma

Hey Grandma, I'm home! Merry Christmas!
Y-You're not still seeing that colored girl, are you?
Oh, come give us a kiss

Song 5: Royalty-Free Fortnite Dances
[Instrumental]

Song 6: The Santa Clause Sequels Suck
[Verse 1: Jack]
When I was a young boy, I loved The Santa Clause
It made me laugh and made me smile
Frankly, it was boss
And for some unknown reason, I skipped both 2 and 3
So I thought, "Heck, I'll watch 'em now"
How bad could they be?

[Verse 2: Jack]
The Santa Clause 2 *fart*
The Santa Clause 3 *fart*
Both films are *fart*
Atrocities *multiple farts*

None of this is edited *fart*
This really does happen *multiple farts*
It's kinda like *fart* they *fart* just *fart* killed *fart* Santa *fart* again
*fart sounds*

Song 7: Time For New Parents
[Intro: Jack's Dad]
Well son, we know you've been talking about this game a lot
So uh, well, Merry Christmas

[Verse: Jack]
Guess it's time for new parents (Guess it's time for new parents)
I guess it's time for new parents (Yeah it's time for new parents)
Let's delete the old parents (He'll delete the old parents)
And then we get some new parents (And then we get some new—)
[Outro: Jack's Dad & Jack]
No, son, wait, see what's inside
(Jingle my bells, baby)
Thank you, father

Song 8: Is Die Hard A Christmas Movie?
[Verse: Jack 1 & Jack 2]
No we're not doing this one. It's like, who cares? Who cares? Who actually— who honestly cares? Like, is that an actual, is that an actual people have? No, it's not like— it's a stupid fight to have—
Yeah, this debate sucks. This is the worst, dumbest debate. I hate that people actually debate about whether Die Hard's a Christmas movie or not? Like, I go online, like, on Twitter and people are like, "Oh, is Die Hard a Christmas movie?" Like… who cares? Who— I-It's not a debate. Like, people aren't actually arguing about this—

Song 9: How Does He Do It?
[Verse 1: Jack]
How does he travel the world in a night?
How do eight reindeer take flight?
Well, I know the secret
So I shall pass it unto you

[Verse 2: Jack]
Santa ain't real, so grow the hell up
Santa ain't real, so grow the hell up
I said, Santa ain't real so grow the hell up
Santa ain't real, grow up (again)
Santa ain't real