[Spoken]
Yesterday, I asked you to help me write a Christmas song, and it's not bad

Santa's climbing down my chimney
Santa's coming to take your kidney
Hide the body in the snow
Santa, apology video

Oh, Santa
Oh, Rudolph
Oh!

This Christmas will be scary
Please stop Mariah Carey
Me me a festive boy
Christmas is a marketing ploy
Just sit on my lap and talk about toys

Presents are pointless 'cause we're all gonna die
I swear this was about some Jesus guy
I'm slutty underneath the mistletoe
Leave your presents in the stockings below

He sees you when you're sleepy
He likes to be creepy
Woke up in Santa's sleigh
A child called me Santa today
The Krampus comes out to play
All I need for Christmas is YIAY
I'll get jolly with some hentai
Baby Grinch is daddy
Baby Yoda is a bad meme
That lyric makes me hate you madly

My parents divorced, I have Christmas times two
I saw mommy nuzzle Santa, uwu
Stressed and depressed, but Christmas gon' save me
Jingle my bells, baby

Woah, oh, wo-o-oah, oh
Woah, oh, wo-o-oah, oh
Woah, oh, wo-o-oah, oh
Woah, oh, wo-o-oah, oh
Woah, oh, wo-o-oah, oh
Woah, oh, wo-o-oah, oh