[Song 1: A Christmas Clone]
Decorating trees with my Christmas Clone
Having lots of fun with my Christmas Clone
Starting to catch feelings for my Christmas Clone
Oops! Now we're expecting

[Song 2: A Nice Christmas Dinner]
[Jack One]
Let's have a nice Christmas dinner
Just a nice Christmas dinner!
Let's have a nice Christmas din--

[Jack Two]
I dunno, I think Kanye has a point

[Song 3: December Birthdays (The Royalty Free Christmas Choir)]
[Verse One]
If your birthday falls in December
You just get one set of gifts

[Verse Two]
That's the rule, no whining or bitching
You are a burden to your family

[Song 4: A Message To Santa]
[Verse One]
I got one message for Santa!
I hope you hear me well!
A-do, do, do-do, do, do--
[Verse Two]
Give. Me. [gun cocks] The Shrek 5 Trailer
Or else, I'll launch thе nukes
(He'll do it, too)

[Verse Three]
Santa, if you think that I am bluffing
I have mеn on the inside waiting on my command, all I have to do is text them "Alfa, Tango, Foxtrot" and they'll send the world back to the Stone Age
Santa, if you don't give me that trailer everyone's blood will be on your fat, jolly hands

[Song 5: A Musical Review of Avatar: The Way of Water]
I wanted more tail sex

[Song 6: How To Make Another Christmas Cocktail]
[Verse One]
One shot tequila
Two shots tequila
Three shots tequila
Better make it four, now!

[Verse Two]
Drink until there's a Shrek 5 Trailer
[Anime-esque screaming]

[Song 7: A Song About Candy Canes]
Candy canes are the perfect weapon
'Cause they're edible evidence!